Busy Weekends Are Good

This weekend was a busy, exhausting one!  The one good thing about busy weekends is there's no time to be bored and no chance to graze!  That's a reason to love a busy weekend!  Of course now I'm so tired I'm not even interested in eating LOL!

My partner Todd is an avid angler, a bass man.  For the last couple of years he's been in one of the Eastern Ontario tournament circuits with my friend Tracey's husband.  We're so lucky that the four of us are such great friends and we can just hang out.  This spring he got the boat of is (almost) dreams.  The boat he really wanted wouldn't fit in our garage!

Yesterday no one was available to go fishing with him.  So I agreed to head out on the water and try my best.

It was not a good day on the water, fishing-wise.  Todd seemed to be the only one catching what few fish we did catch.

Since things were slow, I had a nice nap, and even pulled out a little stitching on the boat!

Though the fishing sucked, and I was skunked I still had a great day out on the water!

Today, while the boys were out on the water for one of their tournaments, Tracey and I spent the day together.  We puttered around town, and had a nice lunch out.  It was nice to spend the day together before she and Ed head East for the summer!  Again I was too busy to worry about snacking and grazing!

I've managed to track my food all week so far, and I'll find out on Wednesday if going back to the old Weight Watchers points system has helped.

Saturday Scale Supremacy!

Holy shit, I seriously didn't expect a good week at the scales when I went to my Weight Watchers meeting this morning. Yes, I normally go on Wednesdays but as mentioned in my previous post, I was laid low with a week long migraine. Today, I'm finally feeling "normal". Of course the normal is in quotes cause that's a loose term, life is far more fun when you're a little quirky!!!







Anyhow back to this morning's weigh in! As you can see it was fantastic!!! Yay me! I'm not sure how I pulled off this great 1.2lb loss. I managed to walk a lot over the weekend, both in the Sugar Bush and on the Beckwith trail. But as of Monday when I've not been at work, I've been in bed trying to banish my migraine! Which also threw my eating off. I either didn't eat the right foods, under ate my daily points or over ate them. My tracking also seriously suffered.







I took this selfie on Wednesday while getting ready for work, despite feeling like shit I thought I looked a little trimmer! It's really hard to take a selfie or be in a picture when all you feel is like a fat, ugly failure! I didn't this morning!

I'm letting my now 2.8 lb loss since getting back to blogging help me focus for the week ahead! On my way home from the meeting I stopped in Wally World and I couldn't help but take a walk down the discount Easter aisle... I found a big Toblerone at 50% off. In the cart it went! By the time I reached the cash and had to wait in line I had reached my senses, and I dumped it in a nearby display. I'm very happy with this NSV. The old me would if bought it and started eating it before I even put the ignition of my wee red Kia!






See, icky out there!!









My next NSV for today was to hop on the treadmill (since it is miserable, rainy, damp, cold and all around shitty out there!) once my Wally World purchases were put away. I put in 5k on the treadmill, doing intervals of 5 minutes of walking, 2 minutes of jogging. I wish my feet would let me run! I miss it... I'm hoping once the majority of my extra weight comes off they'll stop causing me pain.







Now, I mentioned Wally World aka Wal Mart aka The Fifty Dollar store. I don't know what it is about this place, I go on for one thing (a new mouse for. Y computer) and I always seem to come out $50 poorer! Look at today's evidence!!! Can anyone get out of Wal Mart with just the one thing you went into get?








- thanks for reading!

Delayed Weigh In... Week 3 Complete

I'm really having to search for my motivation this week to stay on program!!! I'll be missing my Weight Watchers meeting tomorrow night. Every February for the last four years (this is my 5th) I've been the coordinator at work for a Dominican Experience trip for some of the students. Tomorrow after school were having a retreat for the kids followed by a parent meeting. It's going to be a loooooong day, I'll be at the school for at least 14 hours! Needless to say I won't be making my meeting or able to weigh in.

I'm very lucky though I don't go to a meeting in the city, my area has two meetings a week. I'll have to get up early *sigh* and go Saturday morning. Which won't be a bad thing since this will allow me to enjoy Christmas lunch out with the secretaries tomorrow, and we'll be ordering in some sort of dinner in as well. So I'll have a few days to let my body recover form more calories than usual and of course all the salt that goes into restaurant prepared foods which I'm sire will lead to some water retention for a day or two.



Today I finally completed Week 3 of my C25K program! It should of been done on Saturday, but we spent the day with friends ... Like all day till midnight! Then Sunday morning they invited us out for breakfast. So I didn't do any exercise all weekend!



Now you might think it strange that I couldn't exercise on Sunday, it was just breakfast right? Well, quite a few years ago I was diagnosed with exercise induced anaphylaxis. Yes, you read that right... I'm allergic to exercise! What food it is we don't know but it's caused by ingesting something that you will develop an allergic reaction to if you exercise within 3-4 hours of eating that food. We haven't found out what food it is, but I do know its happened after I've eaten at restaurants. If I exercise after eating out I will start by breaking out in hives, always starting in my scalp. Very quickly I'm covered from head to toes and can start developing welts. Then I start having trouble breathing and I start passing out, coming to and passing out again.

Scary isn't it? I've ended up in the ER twice because of this (before diagnosis) one time I passed out alone, on a dirt road with no phone on me, I had left it at home because my battery was dead.

Now I never go out running after I eat out. I never go out without my phone and epipen. I should have a runners ID but I don't. That I'll purchase on the spring. I have set routes that are in populated areas, I always tell Todd which one I'm taking and how long I should be.

I've not had a bad reaction in a king time now, I've had hives a few times ... But I don't like taking chances!

- thanks for reading!

Summer Adventures

After today I am offically on my SUMMER HOLIDAYS!  This year it seemed like it took a long time to get here and I'm so ready to be off of work for three and a half weeks!!!

My first adventure starts after work today.  I'm driving down to Syracuse, NY where I'll be flying out early tomorrow morning to spend a week with my best friend Claire in the Charleston, SC area!  I'm looking forward to checking out the LNS Keepm 'em in Stitches.  When I return a week Wednesday, I'm landing early enough in the day that I'm going to have time to go check out Stitcher's Garden near Syracuse before I drive back home.

I may follow this up with a drive out to the East Coast to visit Tracey at her cottage in Cape Breton.  It'll all depend on what the budget looks like after this first trip!   Hopefully I'll find a little time to blog here and there from my ipad on my Summer 2013 Adventures!

I did weigh in this am for a pre-vacation weight, I am up again for the third week in a row.  Last week I weighed in on Friday I was up one pound, 178 lbs and this morning I'm up 0.4 to 178.4.  Its only been a few days so I'm not really concerned about the number, I just wanted to get in and weighed WEEKLY and hopefully it'll help me keep Weight Watchers in mind while I'm travelling.

I really need to stop "pretending" at doing Weight Watchers and really commit to the program.  I've been steadily gaining almost a pound a week for the last month and that's just not good.  To think that at one point I had lost 64 lbs from my start weight and now, I"m to a point where I've only managed to keep 29 of those lbs off.  Its just plain STUPID.  I have steadily gained weight since February of of 2011.  Why I can't do this, I don't understand what's wrong in my head.

Positive notes... I've weighed in weekly for the last 3 weeks (but still haven't had time to stay for a meeting).  I've done well going to the gym each week, and this week when I can't make it to the gym (and I'm not suffering from a migraine... they've been VERY bad) I'm getting out for a good 35 minute power walk.

I can do this.

I'm In Control

I think I'm ready to come back now, I've done a few blog entries over at my stitching blog.  I've been thinking about blogging here for almost a week now.

Mum and I in Quebec City

Its been a month now since my Mum has been gone.  I took a week off of work right after it happened, I wasn't sure how I was going to be, or if my Dad would need my help.  I did help him when dealing with the funeral home, but he seemed content to take care of everything else on his own.  My friends and everyone I know have really come out in full force to support me during these difficult weeks.  It was good for me to get back to work, I'm glad I didn't take longer off... a welcome distraction.  We had private family scattering of her ashes, it wasn't as sad or upsetting as I thought it was, I felt at peace over that.  I've had the emotional day here and there, and I've started going through her crafting supplies (mainly quilting and beading) as I'm the only child who inherited the love of crafting.  I do miss my Mum.

How has this impacted my efforts to loose weight... well its been a rollercoaster ride for sure!  At first I was good, I went to Weight Watchers the first two weeks after Mum had passed.

The first week after her passing, I had a good week a 3 pound loss.

The second week, a one pound gain.

Then there was a two week gap, my excuses?  The end of the school year was insanely busy!  I also felt like I had been eating non-stop for over a week!  There were meals out, and treats galore which were hard for me to resist/say no to.  Instead of going to my meeting I was lured by the temptation of a day out with my friends Tracey and Christin.  I also didn't want to face negativity at the scale like I did at the beginning of June.  This past Saturday I didn't go to my meeting (on Saturday) for a good reason, I needed to get in to see my Sports Medicine Doctor as my Sinus Tarsi Syndrome has flared up again in my left foot.  That appointment and the meeting conflicted, I couldn't do both.

Before hair

Hair - after, being goofy at work us librarians can be quite sexy with a laser/scanner gun!

I took advantage of the day and got my haircut.  That was quite emotional for me, it was something my Mum and I have frequently done together over the years we would go see my hairdresser together and go out for lunch afterwards.  I broke down when Azra asked me where my Mum was.  Boy that was hard, I almost tear up sharing this with you.  My visit to Azra was followed with lunch out with Christin and her parents.  When they heard my Mum had passed they had let me know that when I was ready, they wanted to drive up (they live 2 hours away) and take me out for lunch.  Such a nice thing to do, it made for a really nice day.  Christin's Mom also gave me these miniature roses.

While Azra cut my hair (I have followed her around since 1997 and she always speaks frankly to me I love her to pieces), she talked a little sense into me.  Reminding me that I had to take care of myself and that I needed to be in control of my life.  That we don't have much if we don't have our health.  This has resonated with me this week.  I'm getting better and making the right choices, stopping when I'm full and I'm starting to track again, and doing my best to track my foods honestly.  I'm also trying to move more.  I never made it into the gym this week (I have made more of an effort to go this month) but I've gotten out for a couple of walks which I know is better than nothing.

I also have no excuse to not make it to a meeting or at least weigh in.  I'm spoiled in this area there are so many meetings I could go to if not my own.  Also less than a 5 minute drive from my work there's a Weight Watchers Center!  Today I was resolved to go in this morning during my break (I'm visiting friends this weekend so I can't go to my meeting).  I couldn't stay for the meeting but at least I made it to the scale.  Despite two weeks of destructive behavior, no tracking and bad food choices the result wasn't as bad as I thought it was.

After a two-week hiatus only a 1.2 lb gain.  The up side? I have put back on ALL of the 3 lbs I lost.

For Me

Almost ten years ago now, I got my first tattoo and I knew not too long after that I'd want another one.  It just took me a very long time to decide what that second tattoo would be, where it would go, etc.  Earlier this summer I finally came up with an idea and where I wanted it to go. 

In the beginning of August I went to New Moon a local tattoo parlour with an amazing and international reputation.  My first tattoo was actually done by one of their former artists who has a parlor in Cornwall.  I was very happy with the quality of the art work.  I was hoping to get this new tattoo done during my summer holidays.  It turned out I couldn't get an appointment until early September!  Which in the end, I had to postpone because my Mom was ill. 

Finally, today I got my new ink!

My first tattoo was stock art, a dragon, my Chinese Astrological Symbol.  This one is a custom piece, nothing too fancy but it has meaning to me, and that's what's important.  Seeing as I've been involved in Taekwon-Do for almost 15 years now it wouldn't be too stupid to put something related on my body.  My new tattoo is above my ankle, its a black belt (as I'm a 3rd degree) with the characters for Taekwon-Do below it.

 I'm very happy with my new ink.

Stitching, Eat, Sleep... Repeat!

That's what this weekend was!  Oh boy!  What a fantastic time I had with my stitching friends tucked away in a lovely Country Inn.

 Showing off the ornament I received in our annual exchange

As usual I worry that these weekends will have an impact on my weight loss efforts.  I do my best to eat well and exercise leading up to one of my girl's stitching weekend.  Then leading up to dinner on Friday night I try to have a really healthy and low point breakfast and lunch.  Its once we start eating on Friday night that I feel like I struggle the whole weekend!

I must admit that this year, the desserts didn't tempt me, and there was no chocolate to be had!  Which was sad as I had been looking forward to having some.  If there wasn't lots of temptation for me this year, I still feel like I ate too much, and indulged a little too.

A few of us broke down on Saturday afternoon and while we were out picked up some chocolate to put out for the group.  I know I ate more than what was good for me, but at least is was good chocolate!  Enjoyable chocolate!

Saturday afternoon menu

 

I did get out on two occasions for 30 minute runs, so I wasn't 100% sedate all weekend.

All in all, I had a great time, I enjoyed spending it with good friends, getting in some quality stitching time and eating some great food!  If this affects my weigh in this week, I only have myself to blame... if I stay the same or have a small loss I'll be very happy!

I Remember

Its Remembrance Day, are you wearing your Poppy?  I've been wearing mine since November 1st rolled around.

If you have a chance today, thank a Vet, or someone currently serving!

Pay Someone a Compliment Today!

How many times have you thought to yourself "she looks pretty today", "that colour look s nice on her", "hmm I think she's lost some weight".  Next time you think that... vocalize it!  Tell the person in question!  It could be the one day that she needs a compliment, that she's feeling low.  One compliment can change someones day, make them hold their head a little higher, put a spring in their step. 

Once your weight loss becomes noticeable boy do the comments start pouring in!  Those compliments are the proof that your hard work is paying off!  They help your confidence level, steels your resolve to stay on plan, and stops you from grabbing a cookie, chips, an extra drink, whatever your vice is!

Compliments when you're loosing weight are great but then once the people around you get used to the "new" you they stop.  You really, really, really do start to miss those compliments!  Today I got a compliment from a co-worker she asked me if I started loosing weight again.  Which I was very proud to answer yes!  She not only said I looked like I had lost weight but that I was looking a little more muscular!  Wooo hoo my hard work at the gym is paying off, my resolve to say no to temptation is worth it!

Talking about temptation, today I turned down pizza from my favourite pizza joint, and chocolate from the candy dish!  Also tonight I had a seminar to go to in the evening, the seminar and home were in complete opposite directions so going home wasn't an option.  In the past I would of grabbed a bite out, but this morning a little pre-planing and I packed a nice little dinner for myself.  I not only saved myself some unwanted calories/sugar/salt but a little money too.

Yay!  The weekend is here!

What Makes You Happy?

Many of us eat to stuff our emotions down we eat when we're sad, mad, angry, bored, depressed and more.  Sometimes its hard to be happy.  I find when I'm happy the urge to eat just isn't there, unless I'm hungry.

What makes me happy?

My Partner Todd -- He might really frustrate me some days, but he's been with me from fat to thin, through good time and bad for almost 20 years now.

 

My friends -- I've been so lucky to meet some very special and wonderful  people in my life.

My cats -- I've grown up with cats all my life.  Back in March I had to put down my first cat that I had gotten when I left home.  Oh boy that hurt, it hit me very hard.  The two furry babies in my life right now are Hunter (9) and Zeus (10 months) oh they sure make me happy and laugh often.  They are also are a great comfort when you're feeling low.  They know when you're sad, when you need a cuddle.

My Stitching -- I LOVE cross stitch!  I mean I really love to cross stitch!  Yes, stitching can be a very solitary past time, you do have to keep your hands clean when stitching so there's no eating while stitching (or at least very careful with your food choices).  I have also take this past time and turned it into something very social.  I have made some amazing friends through stitching, we get together to stitch, I go to retreats, I take classes and more.  I do think hobbies are very important to our mental well being.

Photography -- I've always liked taking pictures, I won my first camera when I was 12 or 13 and I've had one ever since.  A few years ago I got serious with the purchase of a D-SLR and an introductory course at my local college.  I use my photography as an excuse to get outside and go for a walk!  Not only do I have a D-SLR but I keep a point and shoot in my purse at all times, you never know when there's a cool photo opportunity around the corner!

Takewon-Do -- When visiting a friend back in 1997 she was taking Taekwon-Do, I went with her to watch her TKD class and the instructor pulled in for a bit of the warm up.  You know what, I liked it.  So once I got back home and had the cash to spare I joined a local TKD school.  Oh boy, I was hooked!  Today, I am a 3rd Degree Black Belt and Instructor.  My weight loss really benefited my abilities in TKD!

So what makes you happy?

GOOD News and Getting Ready to Run for the Cure

I got the best phone call ever this afternoon, it was my Mum... from HOME!  After four weeks of being in hospital she finally got discharged!  It has been a long road to get to this point and its still a long road ahead of us.  But its good to know that she's feeling well enough and strong enough to be at home!

I feel like 200 lbs have been lifted off of my shoulders!  What a ride this has been!  For about the first three weeks I struggled to keep my weight under control on top of dealing with this family crisis.  I struggled with it quite nicely for awhile.  I managed to drop a few pounds but the last week I have become more and more tired and more and more careless so my weight moved back up to where it was before this all started.  Sigh, a little disappointing seeing the number on the scale the last few days.  No place like the present to start fresh right?

This Sunday I'll be running again!  Sunday October 2nd across Canada is the CIBC Run For the Cure, its a very moving 5K run/walk to raise money for Breast Cancer Research.  I had a very close call back in 2007 and this is my 3rd year participating and fundraising in this event.  My first year I raised over $600, last year I raised almost $1,500, so far this year I've raised just over $1,000.  I was hoping to beat last year's total but life's circumstances got in the way, and I think I've done very well under the circumstances!  There is still time to make a donation!  If you'd like to make a donation towards my run please go here to donate online, its not too late!!!

If you have already donated, thank you very much!

I think 5K is going to be a piece of cake ;-)

I'm Here, I'm Trying to Come Back

Its been a long time hasn't it?  If you're here, reading this and checking in on me thank you so much for sticking with me!  It just proves that there are people behind me in my struggle to "stay skinny".

What a struggle it has been!  Back in late March/April "staying skinny" suddenly hit a stumbling block.  I ate myself up seven pounds in two weeks.  Despite affirmations from friends and the people around me with the usual line that I truly hate "don't worry, you'll get it back off" echoing in my ears I have not gotten it off.  So I'm still not where I should be, my goal weight.  As of this morning's weigh in I am currently 8.2 lbs over my "magic number"  In terms of weight loss over the summer I seemed to fluctuate up and down three pounds but I've not even cracked that 5lbs within my goal weight. 

I've had stints this summer where I have a very good 2-3 weeks  I eat right, track honestly, and move more.  During that time I'll fight tooth and nail and drop 2-3lbs 0.3-0.5lbs at a time no big drops in weight just little dribs and drabs.  Then the next thing I know I gain over a pound one two weeks in a row and I'm back where I started.  Its almost been like a broken record for months now.

I saw an all time high at the scale on Monday, after a weekend of camping... which I wasn't as bad as I could of been.  Also I did some very serous trail running and hill training with some friends leaving me very sore.  I found myself weighing 157 lbs.  Oh boy, not good at all, when you consider my goal weight is 145.  I did have a sneaking suspicion (since I was up 3 lbs from Friday) that some of the weight was due to fluid retention and lactic acid in my poor muscles!  I started that morning weighing and measuring all my food, tracking every lick, taste, and bite and managing temptations.  I also decided at the moment that I need to weigh myself daily so there are no Friday morning surprises anymore!  Its been encouraging this week to watch the scale drop a little each day.  This morning, I was down 4lbs from Monday!  From last Friday's official weigh in to this Friday I'm down 1 lb which is again, encouraging especially considering most weeks where I have had losses they've been under a pound.

Here's the last couple of months at a glance:

The sad thing to all of this is I should be able to do this, I should be a success, I have been a success.  For some reason it just doesn't want to click, and when it does click its for a few short weeks.

So this week the motivation is there and I feel like I can do this.

Where have I gone wrong for months now?  I can assure you these are all excuses:

• exercise has been erratic, good weeks where I earn more than the minimum suggested activity points according to Weight Watchers (over 28)
• exercise excuses : too hot to run (actually it was a stupid hot summer), too tired, raining outside (bullshit because I have a treadmill), too busy, etc.  My distance running has seriously suffered since the Kilt Run at the end of July, partially because that was such a hard race for me.  I think I made it into the gym less than 5 times, the only times I did go into Taekwon-Do was when I was on the schedule to teach
• Not tracking
• Half assed tracking
• Dishonest tracking
• Poor eating and a little too much ice cream
• Too much fruit, yes there is such a thing
• Getting into the habit of eating when I got home from work despite not really being hungry
• Eating dinner very late (between 8-9 PM)
• Having a quick snack right before going to bed despite not being hungry
• Eyeballing portions
• Stupidly going to the Lindtt Chcolate outlet and buying a ridiculous amount of chocolate, now on the upside I did gift a lot of it and share a lot of it.
• Did not go to any Weight Watchers meetings all summer long, but I did make a point of weighing in once a month ... and paying which is required of a lifetime member who is over their goal weight.  Sadly having to pay $17.00 to weigh in has not motivated me enough to get my act together.

So you can see there many stumbling blocks that I have shared with you, areas for me to improve upon.  Like I said I started fresh again this Monday, like I have too many times to count this summer and here's what I've focused on:

• Weighing/measuring food
• Tracking 100% honestly, every lick, taste and bite
• Almost daily exercise, I've run almost 17 km this week, gone to Taekwon-Do once, the gym once.  I managed to get in some form of activity Saturday-Wednesday this past week
• No tempting foods, no treats except the ginger cookies I allow myself to have in the house.
• I turned down pizza for lunch on Wednesday
• Despite the temptation to get ice cream on two occasions this week I didn't
• I'm dealing with a VERY SERIOUS STRESSOR and I've not reported to stress or emotional eating AT ALL (so far)
• Despite being 10lbs over goal weight on Wednesday (155 lbs) I went and weighed in for the month anyhow, I was very tempted not to bother but I made myself go.

Besides deciding it was time to take the bull by the horns, get this soaring weight under control I've had a very tough week.  I work in a school, and the kids come back next week so its been crazy trying to get my library ready for the first day of school (next Tuesday), and I can assure you ... its not ready.  This summer I had to deal with packing my entire collection into boxes so the room could be completely emptied for the carpets to be replaced.  When I came back from holidays I lost a week of unpacking boxes to working in the main office since all of the administrative assistants were still on their holidays.  I then lost two days this week to software training... not only was I dealing with a collection in boxes, I have a new library software to learn.

Then on Wednesday night my Mum was taken by ambulance to the hospital.  She had not been well for some time now, but we couldn't get her to seek medical attention.  This week things were bad, and my Dad had to resort to calling 911 to get some help to get my Mum to the hospital.  She was admitted that night, and she's been there since.  We don't have a clear picture on what's wrong yet, we just know its to do with her liver.  So between trying to get the library set up at work the last two days (which I must admit was not very productive) I've been spending my evenings at the hospital keeping my Mum company until visiting hours are over.  Its been emotional, its been hard its been stressful.

My Mum is not well, she's very weak but I'm already seeing some improvements.  Her colour is returning (last time I had seen her, she had a grey pallor), today the IV fluids were no longer needed and she's gone from IV antibiotics to being given a pill.  She's eating her meals (she wasn't eating), and drinking plenty of fluids.  She's had a few tests already, an MRI is next on the list.

At this point I need to stay positive, to not just take care of my Mum but take care of myself.  To remember to stop and eat good food when I'm hungry, and drink my water.  I've realized over the last two days that I kept forgetting to drink my water.  At the moment I've not been tempted to bury my emotions by shoving food in my face but if that urge does arise I hope I can recognize it and do my best not to give in.  I also will be challenged to find the time to exercise (and to run... I'm doing a 1/2 marathon in 16 days!) as my Dad does need a break from being at the hospital, so I've been spending the evenings there so far.

My shift at the hospital tomorrow isn't until the evening since my brother is able to take care of a few hours.  So I'm hoping to go to a meeting in the morning and get in a run.  Ideally I'd like to get in 5-10K, if my run ends up being on the shorter side tomorrow, then Sunday will definitely be the day for my long run.

So there it is... I've laid it all out here for you and the world to read.  My shortcomings (failures) this summer, my repeated attempts to jump start getting back to goal.  I'm not sure how long it'll be before I post again since I am dealing/coping with an ill parent.

Here are some pictures from this summer of some of the things I did, I did enjoy my summer.

 Fishing with Todd... no I don't want to kiss the pike!

 Playing tourist in Quebec City

 Teaching at the TKD annual outdoor training/camping weekend

Taking in a show