Is Today My Turn Around Day?

Weigh in on Friday morning, was not good.  I wasn't expecting to be up two pounds.  I am currently 7lbs over my goal weight.  Something, honestly I'm quite ashamed of.  I'm just letting my success slip away it seems lately.  Its like a car wreck, I've been watching it, doing nothing to help.  Of course I let the scale dictate the tone of my day, I was not a happy camper.  Whose fault is this?  My own, yes I have to take ownership of that.

Not only was the scale a huge warning sign to me yesterday, but my friend Amy came and talked to me.  She read that I needed to set a goal, and like good friends do she threw down the gauntlet for sure.  We have agreed to register for the Army Run in September for the 1/2 Marathon.  Are we going to run it, we don't know but they do allow walkers in this 1/2 marathon.  So now I do have this huge challenge looming after the summer is over.  Amy also told me about the 100 day challenge she's given to herself.  To track and to track HONESTLY for the next 100 days.  Well Amy, I hope you don't mind me stealing this idea!

Let me show you last week's tracking, and I've written on it exactly what it is...

Lies you ask?  Except for the total lack of activity points I was well within my daily points right?  WRONG.  I was tracking creatively, tracking what I felt like tracking, even randomly assigning low points values for food that I knew were higher.  All in attempt, I suppose to make myself look good "on paper" to see those average numbers and think "hey I'm doing not bad".  Do you know how many times I delved into the various candy dishes at work and did track a single chocolate or treat?  Several times a day!

So yesterday was day one for me, I tracked EVERYTHING honestly!  I also stayed away from the candy dishes (yay me!).  For some reason yesterday I wasn't very hungry and had a HUGE point surplus (like 12) at the end of the day.  So in the end I did go and enjoy a SMALL DQ dipped cone after dinner with my friend Christin.  Really who could eat 12pts of healthy food and not be ready to explode.  Really I didn't eat enough points through the day (breakfast/lunch).

Today, day two is going well so far, and there's really only dinner left to the day and maybe a snack between dinner and bedtime.  What has made today my turn around day?  I woke up and decided it was time to face the music.  I went to my Weight Watchers meeting, weighed in and paid up (since I was more than 2lbs over my goal weight).  I stayed for the meeting and took notes for a blog entry (will be separate from this one).  After getting home I went out for an 8K run.  It was too nice of a day to not, and I need to start getting in a longer run once a week.  I then decided it was time to clean my house.  I don't think I've done anything besides scrub the toilet bowl since leaving for Arizona back in March.

I truly believe that your home is a representation of your mental state.  Mine was getting kinda disgusting.  So I've got a clean home to reflect a more streamlined mental state.  I've exercised the last two days, and I'm back on the road to going to Weight Watchers meetings weekly.

So from now on, there's only one way to go, up... I mean down.

Jetsetting Again!

Sorry for the blog silence, I've had a very  rough week.  It all started last Tuesday (the 1st), with my car needing $700 in work!  Ouch, but if it keeps the car on the road another 6+ months it'll be worth it.  Then this past Monday my car door was frozen, Todd broke the driver's side door handle.  Sigh.  The worst of all, was this Tuesday.  I took my 15 year old cat Cuddles into the vet to have a sore on his front leg checked out.  It was heartbreaking, but I had to have him put down.  There was an infection and several other issues.  I cried and cried and cried!  That was the hardest thing I've ever had to do.  I've caught myself doing some emotional eating at times.  Then at times I'm not eating until my stomach growls.  Food has been weird and exercise scarce.  The result of this is being up 1 lb this week.  I guess I can consider that a victory of sorts seeing as I  could of just gone overboard.

 

I'm doing it again, hopping on a plane tomorrow morning to go and visit my friend inin Arizona!!! After the week I had,I need a vacation and some SUN! I'm looking forward to seeing Kathy, heading up to Phoenix(ish) to see my good friend Judie who is down there on vacation right now. There's a little trip to The Attic (needlework store) planned as well! Can't wait for some retail therapy!

Don't worry, there will be lots of pictures when I get back!

Oh yeah did I mention that next weekend is the annual Knowledge and Needles March retreat! So I'll be coming home on Thursday and hopping in the car Friday to go stitch with my friends! What a whirlwind.

 

Stitch. Eat. Sleep.

Taekwon-Do Makes Me Happy

If you're a regular reader here (not that I have a long history with this blog... yet) or a long-time reader of my other blog Dani : Black Belt Stitching Wizard you know I've been involved in Taekwon-Do for many years.  I first tried out a little bit of a class back in 1997 when I was visiting a friend in Texas who was taking TKD.  I must admit I was intrigued.  When the opportunity arose I tried out a school here at home, and well I have to admit I never looked back!  So this May will be my 14th year in TKD.  Now there have been a few breaks here and there over the years but I've always found myself going back.

On Monday evenings I teach the "Little Tigers" class, I have the most adorable group of 4-6 year old boys.  Yes girls are allowed, but for some reason I have no little girls in my Monday class.  I have to admit that yesterday by the time I was leaving work I was in the WORST mood ever, I was frustrated, angry and upset over a few things that were going on that really were beyond my control.  Then I received a call asking if I could teach all classes last night.  That would mean besides working a 7 hour day I now had to teach for 3 hours from 6-9PM.  After the day I had at work the last thing I wanted to do was teach three classes in a row (4-6 yrs, 7-13 yrs, and adults).  All I could think was if the kids acted up boy oh boy thins would not be good, there would be sit-ups and push-ups in their future.  I also, I really had no plan.

I have to say I was never so happy when my little guys came into the dojang.  The minute they came in and said hi to me and asked to go in the dojang my bad mood instantly lifted.  It was like my bad day had never happened!  Bless those little guys!  By the end of the night I felt like a million bucks, all my classes went so well, I think my students enjoyed it and I know I enjoyed teaching.

If you're not familiar with Taekwon-Do, it is full of protocol (which I love).  One of the first things we do, before entering the dojang itself (the training area) besides taking our shoes and socks off we bow to the room.  This bowing represents leaving your job, your family, your life, your day behind because you are there to open yourself to learn TKD.  Nothing proved this more to me than yesterday.

After the morning session, colour belts and black belts in attendance

This past Saturday Senior Master Lu hosted a full day patterns seminar.  Its the first event like this I've attended since returning to Taekwon-Do after my injury a few years ago.  It was a fantastic refresher and I enjoyed the day!

The Almonte Taekwon-Do contingent with Senior Master Lu (center)

An Interesting Question...

Yesterday a member on the Weight Watchers Canada message boards in the Newbie forum asked

"I am just starting and I was wondering if you could tell me what is the biggest benefit to your weight loss?"

Well I jumped right into answering this question and here were the points I gave and I wanted to share them with you!

• I've lost over 60lbs
• I've gone from a size 20 pant and a 2-3X top to a size 8 and a M-S top
• For the first time in my adult life I own a bikini
• I can run... I've run 10K and thinking about a 1/2 marathon
• My ability to be a martial artist improved dramatically
• I am a better example/role model for my Taekwon-Do students, I mean really a instructor who was over 200 lbs?
• I look like an athlete
• I stopped having problems with plantar fascitis
• I look hot
• I have the body I used to dream about having.
• Increased confidence
• I used to be terrified of going to a gym, I now go several times a week
• I fit in the bathtub nicely with extra room!
• I can wrap a hotel sized towel around my body
• I can buy clothes anywhere
• I feel awesome all the time
• I've barely been ill in the last 2 years

 For some odd reason I'm having trouble with migraines again.  I'm not sure where' this is coming from.  I had one start up Saturday afternoon but managed to take care of it with some Excedrin for Migraine.  It came back last night and I had to give in and go to bed.  It was back again this morning, but the pills didn't help.  Tonight its left me feeling quite nauseous.

I don't know why I'm having such a hard time with them lately, but I am.

Weekly Meeting Topic : Get Wise About Size

I do think that this week's topic is a week or two too late, in all honesty this should of been the topic BEFORE Thanksgiving.  Each year at Thanksgiving we're given the talk about the holiday and the food, but perhaps we should focus more on portion, portion size and portion control.  We all tend to overeat during the major holidays.

This week I went to my regular Tuesday meeting, it was a good sized group but I really did notice/realize that this group is mainly ladies who are much older than me.  I think this is why I'm falling in love with the Saturday morning meetings, its a much younger, more lively group.  Not all members of the Saturday meeting are young we're a good mix, but I noticed on Tuesdays I'm the minority.

Anyhow onto the topic at hand : Get Wise About Size

My meeting leader made a good point to start off with, that our choice starts with the size of your plate.  No matter how small or how big that plate is we seem to fill our plate no matter what!  Its just a natural tendency we have, we hate to see our plates sitting empty or with so much space between the items on the plate.  When it comes to learning portion control, this is a great place to start... a smaller plate, instead of that massive dinner plate which is so common today!  Of course you have to resist the temptation to pile that smaller plate a mile high!

Less IS More!  Portion Control Equals

• up sized success
• super sized satisfaction
• maximized feelings of control

There really is nothing more powerful that the feeling of success, the belief in yourself that YES you can do this!  The excitement of seeing that scale going down week, after week.  Now do realize that the scale doesn't go down every week, there will be weeks that your weight is up... that's a fact and we have to turn these gains into learning opportunities.  There will be weeks where your losses are small we have to take every loss the big or the small and celebrate them!

So how are the different ways we can practice portion control?

• Be aware of what a serving is
• Weigh and measure your portions, when you eyeball it your portions slowly start to get a little bigger.  If you find you're not loosing as fast as you'd like or perhaps you've had a gain, go back to basics, weigh and measure!
• Keep it simple
• Know your visual cues, for example the palm of your hand/deck of cards is one 3oz meat serving, your fist is a cup and so on.  This is great for those cases when we can't weigh and measure our own food.
• Know that you can have larger portions of low point, filling foods
• Plan ahead
• When eating out doggie bag 1/2 of your meal before you even take a bite!

My leader had two good quotes at the end of our meeting :

"To lengthen thy life lessen thy meals"

"Its not what you give up its what you get back"

On Tuesday morning I weighed myself like I always have to do my weekly "weigh in" for Weight Watchers e-tools (this subscription has been worth every penny if you're an online junkie like me).  So my total loss for the last week has been 4.5 lbs!  I am officially UNDER my goal weight!  Now if my body will co-operate I'd love to loose 5.5 more lbs to get to my Weight Watchers Goal Weight!  This would be such an achievement for me, there's nothing I'd like more in this world than to become a Weight Watchers Leader.  No matter how much knowledge I have, how much passion I have for the program and the amount of success I have had, until I'm within their weight range they won't even look at me as an employee.

I think that's part of the reason why I started this blog, to hopefully help and inspire a few others out there who are struggling with their weight.  My biggest step was admitting that I needed help to loose weight and stepping into that first meeting.  I hope you can find the help and support you need to complete your journey.  If you ever need a cheerleader, someone you need to talk to or bounce an idea off of, my e-mail address in my profile don't hesitate to drop me a line.

This week so far has been very good for me, I'm finally feeling re-energized!  I am wanting to go to my workouts and I'm enjoying them.  I realized tonight when I wrote down on my calendar what type of exercise I did today that for the first time in ages I've done some sort of activity seven days in a row.  Its not been all going to the gym or going for a run (but on the other hand I've done over 12KMs so far this week), one night was 4 hours cleaning my house... yes that is exercise.  While my friend Bonnie was here we went for a nice walk with our cameras.  The key is to move more and eat less!

I hope everyone goes through this week feeling as great as I have!

When Can I Leave This Pity Party?

I've been down this week and I can't quite shake it.  I think I've been hosting a bit of a pity party the last few days and I'm getting a little tired of it.

I'm not sad, I'm not really down...

I just feel tired, fat, bloated, and unmotivated!  You all know usually I'm a Weight Watchers Cheerleader!

I'm sick of feeling this way, but I just don't seem to be able to shake it.  I am up a pound this week, and that might have part to do with it.  I try not to let the scale dictate my moods.  Normally I turn a gain into a huge motivator.  I get my butt in gear, I eat well, and I'm conscience of every lick, taste, and bite!  Not this week.  I feel like I'm about 8 pounds heavier that my thighs and stomach feel huge!  Bloated maybe? 

So I've been going around the last few days feeling a little sorry for myself.

I'm having a little trouble putting this into words so excuse me if I'm not making sense/rambling on.  But it just has to get out!

On the up side I haven't reacted to this feeling like I did the last time I had a pity party.  I found myself eating a lot of chocolate and candy, and not really caring that I was eating it and how much I was eating.  This time I find I'm sick and tired of my usual fare, I normally love salad, earlier this week I found myself eating half of my lunch salad and the rest went into the garbage bin.  I just couldn't face it!  A couple of nights in a row I've found myself mindlessly eating... finishing up a 1/2 bag of chocolate caramel rice cakes.  After they were all gone, the next night it was gluten free rice crackers with tzatziki and I keep finding myself indulging in these salty delights!  Tonight when I got home from work I had every intention of having a chicken sandwich made with a flat bun (I let myself get hungrier than usual before I got home), first was some ju jubes (my general store sells nice small baggies of these), then the sandwich, followed by rice crackers and taziki!  I was stuffed, but just didn't stop eating, I had to force myself to put the crackers away!  I felt nothing but disgusting and disgusted with myself afterwards and have all evening long.

I normally don't feel guilty, disgusted, or upset over myself but tonight I just do.

I think part of this comes down to being my own worst enemy, I quite regularly burn the candle at both ends.  I always find at this time of the year it comes back to bite me in the butt.  I'm exhausted, plain and simple.  All I want to do is stay home and curl up in my bed.  I haven't wanted to be online much, I haven't wanted to really stitch that much (a huge indicator that I'm not in my usual state of mind), I also haven't been to the gym in over a week!  I have been out at TKD quite a bit, Monday night is my usual night to teach, but the cold that's going around right now seems to be making the rounds of the instructors.  I got called in to teach Tuesday night as well.  So by the time Wednesday rolled around and two late nights in a row I can tell you that the gym was the last place I wanted to be!  I came home and slept for over 3 hours, made my first real dinner since last Friday and put my feet up in my recliner.  Simple things, heaven!

I'm looking forward to this weekend, I'm hoping I can rest, stitch, and be re-energized!

So there you go, that's my pity party... now where's the cake?

What Do You Do When You Feel Meh?

Today I felt "meh"

I've been tired lately (again), feeling pretty run down (again).

What did I find myself doing to avoid feeling "meh" today?  I started catching myself wanting to eat!  I have to admit I haven't had my dinner yet, and I've only got 2 points left for the day.

I've been very good at avoiding S's candy dish at work for quite awhile.  S keeps chocolate in that candy dish, and I am a chocolate girl.  I started out by having 2 small pieces of chocolate this morning.  I have to admit is was VERY good and I savoured each small bite.  Lunch was just not satisfying today (or yesterday either).  I did fine until about 1:30 when I seemed to hit the wall!  I was struggling to stay awake at my computer (some days cataloguing books can be pretty well... dull).  I found myself starting to think about eating, what to eat, maybe I should go downstairs and hit S's candy dish again?  I wasn't hungry at all!  I wanted to eat myself out of feeling "meh".  I didn't go downstairs and I didn't eat anything until I started to feel hungry.  I made the smart choice and had a yogurt, and a mini babybel light before going to the gym.

I had talked myself out of going the gym during this particular low point of the day.  I was convinced I was going to go home and go to bed.  When I left work I felt a little boost of energy, so I made the right choice and went to the gym.

When I got there... I didn't want to be there.

When I got going ... I still didn't want to be there.

3/4 of the way through my workout... I really just wanted to go home.

But I toughed it out and did my usual 75 minute workout (earn about 6 activity points).  Normally when I go into the gym feeling pretty tired, I come out feeling energetic.  Not tonight, it was such a struggle to get through it and not give up and go home, I almost gave up with two of stations in the weight circuit left.  On the way home I ate an apple, then when I got home a cup of yogurt and two cookies (Simple Pleasures Spice Snaps 1.5pts for 2 cookies).  So now I have 2 points for dinner (of course I can dip into my Weekly Point Allowance), thank goodness I've got a healthy, hearty, homemade soup in the crock pot!

When I was leaving the gym I had a VERY STRONG urge to get a Cadbury's Mint Chocolate bar, you know one of the BIG ones?  It happens that my gym is on the 2nd level of a grocery store and when you're walking towards the stairs you can see the whole aisle of chocolate and candy.  A night like tonight that is oh so tempting.  But I kept walking down the stairs, out the door and to my poor little car.  That's a NSV (non-scale victory) for me tonight.  I came home instead and made some healthier choices.

Is anything bothering me?  I don't think so.  I don't think any thing's wrong.  I just want some rest... and a bit of change in the food repertoire!  (Thus I made soup and chili last night!)

Yesterday was weigh in day.  I'm up 1 lb again.  *Sigh* I would of liked another loss this week... who wouldn't?  I know why I'm up and as usual its my own fault.  This weekend I allowed myself to relax a little.  I went to a party on Saturday and did enjoy some nibblies but didn't over do it (oh and cake, I love cake).  Sunday I didn't exercise, when I probably should of gone for a quick 3K.  I didn't really track all weekend nor did I concern myself about portion control (weighing and measuring).  I control what goes in my mouth and I did poorly at that this weekend.  Thus the 1 lb gain.  Once again I'm 2 lbs away from goal, I start to wonder if/when I'll get back to goal?

Weekly Meeting Topic : If You Bite It, Write It : Tracking

First of all, my weigh in was not bad... well not bad considering the kind of weekend it was, a long weekend!  Long weekends are often a field of landmines for us folks on Weight Watchers!  There is food galore, it doesn't matter what you do on a long weekend you're faced with lots of temptation... well unless you decide to be a hermit for 3 days!  But where's the fun in that?  I was once again spending the Labour Day weekend with my stitching friends down in Brighton, relaxing, eating, and stitching for three days!  I brought a fruit tray and a veggie platter for the weekend, and my good friends were a huge support to me by also bringing healthy foods!  I packed my running/walking gear but between the exhaustion I had been fighting (still am) and rain or it looking like its about to rain I never got out (I hadn't exercised since Wednesday of last week to Tuesday of this week).  So, I was a little surprised when I registered a 0.5 lbs loss at the scale!

Our healthy lunch on the long weekend!

This week's Weight Watcher's meeting was all about the key component to the program : TRACKING!  Tracking has honestly been the key to my success at loosing my 60lbs through the WW program (that and attending weekly meetings, and I still do as a lifetime member).  Tracking is essentially counting calories except its been simplified to points.  Each member has a certain number of points he/she needs to consume to loose weight (based on age, height, current weight, and activity level on a daily basis), to under eat this number of points can cause your body to go into starvation mode, to over eat could and eventually will lead to weight gain.  Weight Watchers is also very nice to us, they also give us 35 weekly points above and beyond our daily point allowance.  These we can choose to eat, or not eat... not eating may accelerate your weight loss slightly.  Also you can earn even more points to eat through exercise!  One can earn activity points, these points are calculated based on your current weight, how long you've been exercising, and intensity level.

Online tracking, this was how my day went -- food wise!

Weight Watchers provides us with a member's book that has a basic listing of food points in it, more in depth books can be purchased.  Each week at the meeting you can pick up tracking books, perfect for a full week to keep track of what points you've used and what points you've earned.  Personally I can't stand those silly little books... I write too big!  I found the perfect alternative by subscribing to eTools on the Weight Watchers Canada website.  Its an extra cost each month but to me, worth every penny!

There are some key points to keep in mind while tracking

• Track points of combination foods (if you're making a recipe, add up the points for each ingredient then divide by the number of portions)
• Round up when calculating points, no half points! (I use them because the online tracker lets me)
• When is the best time/method for you to track?  I tend to do it right after each meal.
• You can pre-track and post-track
• Weight Watcher's math : 1+1 does not always equals 2

Tracking everything you put in your mouth may seem like a real chore, but if you make a point of doing it... it just becomes a habit, and a good one to have!

I'm looking forward to a low key weekend at home!

Music

Hmmm I'm feeling skinny today!  But I was a good girl, and didn't take a peek on the scale this morning, oh boy it was tempting!

Music... I love music! I proudly admit to being a rocker chick... I'm embarrassed to admit it but I do love some pop, hate it when others catch me listening to it as it spoils my hard core rocker chick image. I can't sing, I can't play an instrument, but I can listen and I can go to concerts!

I LOVE going to concerts I probably take in 3-5 rock concerts each year, and if I can I love being on the floor in general admission where all the energy is! Not only do I get to feel the energy the band is putting out, but I dance, I move, I jump sweating and earning fun APs... and do my best to avoid the mosh pit that always starts where I'm standing. So if you're in general admin at a concert and you want to get in a mosh pit... just find me!

Music is such an integral part to my workout! Besides my Taekwon-Do classes I go to the gym or I run and that's when I love my tunes. I put in my iPod and I WORK! Nothing gets me going better than a great/aggressive beat, I sometimes catch myself moving at a faster pace because I'm so into the music.

So what gets you through your workout? For me its bands like Billy Talent (great for running), Foo Fighters, Nickleback, just to name a few (all of which I've seen in concert at least once).

I had a fantastic on program day yesterday! There were no treats or temptations to battle through! Lots of fresh fruits and veg throughout the day. I went to my Taekwon-Do class and we spent a full 60 minutes working on kicks! It was fantastic the tank top I wear under my dobok was SOAKED!

Tonight its a visit to the gym with my rockin' tunes!

July 15th entry : Why Is It Harder When You Feel "Meh"?

Yesterday was a great day on WW front! I handled the day's temptations very well (when isn't there a day without temptation?)! I was offered some home made banana bread, I broke a slice in half (leaving the other half behind) took one small bite and decided "this just isn't worth it". So I politely disposed of the rest of the piece in the garbage. I know it seems awful and sinful to waste food but why should I waste non-tasty goodness calories in my body? I think not. This is how I've come to handle any baked goodies that come into the workplace or any social situation, I take a bite if its VERY good I eat it cause its worth the points if not I dispose of it. I was also offered some CHOCOLATE ... raise your hand if you like chocolate... that's what I thought! At least it was 70% dark chocolate, I took a small piece to "try" dark chocolate again. I've decided I still don't like it. I know its better for us, yadda, yadda. But I love the sweet, creamy goodness of milk chocolate! I tracked my bites and wasn't tempted to have more. That's a victory in my little world.

I also had an AWESOME workout at the gym last night! At first I was trying to talk myself into NOT going to the gym, I could kinda feel a migraine wanting to come on. So I sucked it up, took my migraine medication 30 minutes before leaving and went. I ran on the treadmill for 21 minutes, did 45 minutes of weights on the machines really trying to challenge my muscles with as much weight as I could handle and max out at 10 reps, I followed this by 11 minutes on the elliptical. I earned a grand total of 6APs and I left feeling GREAT! That great feeling continued at home that I made fantastic, healthy dinner!

A few hours after my workout I started feeling a little dizzy and had a really good dizzy spell when I got up to close the curtains that I had to sit down. I spent the rest of the evening feeling "off". That feeling of off-ness has continued into today, and a general sense of tired all over. A Timmies run for a tea has perked me up a little, but not much.

So I feel "meh" today and its days like today that I find it hard to be motivated to be On Program. Both in the food department, its days like today where I want to eat everything I shouldn't hoping to feel more awake. Also its hard to be motivated to work out (or even just work!). I'm planning on going to my TaeKwon-Do class tonight, and only time, my mood, and how I feel will tell if I go or not this evening.

Am I the only one who finds it really hard to eat well and move more when they feel "meh/off"?

July 13th Entry : Weigh In Day

Its weigh in day, the day I have come to dread! When I was actively loosing my weight I used to get excited about WI but now I hate stepping on the scale week after week. I seem to expect nothing but bad news lately when it comes to the scale as the last 4 months have been such a battle to get back to goal!

Today I was able to start the day with a positive outlook : I'm down 1.5 lbs! So that puts my current weight at 150 lbs. Not where I want to be, but better. So this puts me 5lbs from getting back to my goal weight, 3 lbs from my 2 lb window so I don't have to pay at my meeting.

Yesterday was a good day in the end, I stayed within my daily point allowance I didn't eat any junk food either! Of course its really easy to do this when you've not been tempted by it! I also made it to the gym after work, I ran for 13 minutes on the treadmill, and walked for 11. I also spent 45 minutes weight training on the machines at the gym.

Today is my busy day, I've got my WW meeting. Eventhough I'm a lifetime memeber I still go to my meetings fairly reguarly. I'd actually like to try to go weekly until I'm back at goal. Though I'm only WI once a month I find my meetings still very important. From WW I'll go to my Taekwon-Do class, then finally home.