Prepping For The Week Ahead

First if all I want to thank everyone whose taking the time to respond to my last post! I am glad I did the right thing, speaking up without outright confronting "rude lady". You are all so supportive, each comment just makes me feel better about this blog, myself and I'm looking forward with more optimism theses days. Thank you.

I know one of my key secrets to weight loss success is to "be prepared" and quite honestly for the longest time I've just sucked at it! As I'm bringing exercise back into my routine after a few quiet weeks due to migraines, life and a few plain old lazy days, I thought I should start being more organized again for the week ahead.

I work full time, but I don't have kids so my waking hours are not taken over by caring for a family. It's just me, Todd and the cats so why I get so lazy there's just no excuse. The time is there, I just find once I'm home for the evening/weekend and my big ass hits my recliner I'm done for.




So this evening while making my dinner and some cookies, I prepped food for the week ahead. I made a big container full of salad for my lunches, I find it'll hold up all week as long as you don't put things like cucumber or tomatoes (heaven forbid, I can't stand them!). I even portioned some for my lunch for tomorrow. While cutting up peppers to go in the salad I sliced the rest of the up and put them in a container, I like to pack a baggie with carrots, celery and peppers for an afternoon snack. This week I also picked up a cantaloupe it's now diced and in a container for the week (portioned some of that for breakfast tomorrow). The less I have to prepare on the morning the less last minute junk goes in my lunch bag.




While cookies were baking I also took the time to put my clean laundry away. I'm very guilty of not doing that and just digging out clothes as I need them. I even took the time to pack my gym bag for tomorrow. Since I've hot the trail, two days in a row now, I should do some wights at the gym.




Speaking do hitting the trail, funny I didn't notice the trilliums in bloom yesterday. Today they were in bloom all over the place amongst the shade of the trees! This is the flower of my province, Ontario.


- thanks for reading!

Weigh In & Rude People

I'm quite proud of myself this morning, not only did I get my sorry behind out of bed to go to my Weight Watchers meeting (and to face that dreaded white box), but I decided I had time to hit the Beckwith Trail before the meeting.

I admire those who can get up in the morning and get moving!!! This girl cannot! My body is like nu-huh, no way, not gonna happen! I find I spend the whole workout dragging my ass, I can't move fast enough, and I find even breathing hard. If I do morning workouts it's because I HAVE to, otherwise I won't get it done that day. Or, it's because of my wired-ass allergy! I have been diagnosed with exercise induced anaphylaxis ... In plain English, I'm allergic to exercise! I can't exercise after I eat at a restaurant, there is something in some food that restaurants use that I react to if I exercise 3-4 hours after eating. I break out in hives, I have trouble breathing and I will pass out and come to repeatedly. Soooo if I know I'm going to be eating out I HAVE to either plan to exercise before or decide not to exercise at all. Otherwise it's Mr. Epi-pen (blue to the sky, orange to the thigh), and an ambulance ride to the ER.






I'm flying solo this weekend so I decided I was going to take myself out for breakfast. This meant if I was going to earn a few Activity Points, it would have to happen this morning! I'm very proud that I followed through with that plan as I don't love mornings and morning exercise even less.







My weigh in was a nice little surprise, I managed to loose 0.7 of the 2.7lbs I put on last week! I really wasn't even expecting that as it's been a slow process getting back to eating right and not giving in to my cravings. I also had decided to focus on the food this past week and work on the exercise this upcoming week.

Now onto rude people... This morning at my meeting we were celebrating one of our members who had reached her 10% goal (lost 10% of her starting body weight). She talked about how this was her second time around and between these two times at WW she has now lost 35lb. One member spoke up and said "some of us have lost three times that."

I was just flabbergasted that she said that! It's all fine and great that you have lost over 100lbs and kept it off. But we were celebrating this young lady, who had reached her 10% goal! Way to steal her thunder. We weren't talking about you or your achievements. I couldn't help but speak up, reminding her and everyone else that we all come and go and we each have our own story and we may not know your story or saw you before you lost your weight, but every pound that we each have lost was hard won no matter how much we have to loose.

So please never criticize someone's weight loss (efforts) even if they have less to loose or more to loose. We're all on the same journey we all just take different routes and some of us reach that destination sooner than others.

- thanks for reading!

Saturday Scale Supremacy!

Holy shit, I seriously didn't expect a good week at the scales when I went to my Weight Watchers meeting this morning. Yes, I normally go on Wednesdays but as mentioned in my previous post, I was laid low with a week long migraine. Today, I'm finally feeling "normal". Of course the normal is in quotes cause that's a loose term, life is far more fun when you're a little quirky!!!







Anyhow back to this morning's weigh in! As you can see it was fantastic!!! Yay me! I'm not sure how I pulled off this great 1.2lb loss. I managed to walk a lot over the weekend, both in the Sugar Bush and on the Beckwith trail. But as of Monday when I've not been at work, I've been in bed trying to banish my migraine! Which also threw my eating off. I either didn't eat the right foods, under ate my daily points or over ate them. My tracking also seriously suffered.







I took this selfie on Wednesday while getting ready for work, despite feeling like shit I thought I looked a little trimmer! It's really hard to take a selfie or be in a picture when all you feel is like a fat, ugly failure! I didn't this morning!

I'm letting my now 2.8 lb loss since getting back to blogging help me focus for the week ahead! On my way home from the meeting I stopped in Wally World and I couldn't help but take a walk down the discount Easter aisle... I found a big Toblerone at 50% off. In the cart it went! By the time I reached the cash and had to wait in line I had reached my senses, and I dumped it in a nearby display. I'm very happy with this NSV. The old me would if bought it and started eating it before I even put the ignition of my wee red Kia!






See, icky out there!!









My next NSV for today was to hop on the treadmill (since it is miserable, rainy, damp, cold and all around shitty out there!) once my Wally World purchases were put away. I put in 5k on the treadmill, doing intervals of 5 minutes of walking, 2 minutes of jogging. I wish my feet would let me run! I miss it... I'm hoping once the majority of my extra weight comes off they'll stop causing me pain.







Now, I mentioned Wally World aka Wal Mart aka The Fifty Dollar store. I don't know what it is about this place, I go on for one thing (a new mouse for. Y computer) and I always seem to come out $50 poorer! Look at today's evidence!!! Can anyone get out of Wal Mart with just the one thing you went into get?








- thanks for reading!

Weigh In Wednesday

It's Wednesday, which means Weight Watchers and weigh in!

This week was tough for my on the psychological/emotional side of things. This made food choices difficult, and I didn't always make the best decision or really think about it I more went on my wants than my needs when it came to food. I know I promised myself to ask if "is it worth it" but really I didn't do that very often. 

Out enjoying my favourite trail, and it was warm enough to be out in a t-shirt!!!!

Also on the psychological side not only was food a tough thing for me but so was exercise, which normally isn't a problem. I had to force myself to either get out walking or get into the gym!  Saturday was a little easier because it was so nice out and I wanted to check out my beloved Beckwith Trail which is 5k round trip. Monday was just brutal, I almost always pack my gym bag and have it in the car unless I know I WON'T be going to the gym. I had my bag packed with intentions of going to the gym, when quitting time came around I really didn't want to go!  I made myself go. Normally once I'm there and I get going the endorphins kick in and I'm glad I went. Not this night, I found my 30 minutes on the bike just a drag, then as I hit the weight machine circuit, I just wanted to quit and go home. I honestly just wanted to cry I was so miserable during my workout. Somehow I touched it out, finished my 30 minute weight circuit and went home. Tuesday I wasn't much on the mood either but I went back into the gym for 30 minutes of cardio (all I have time for before going to my Dad's for dinner and I know something is better than nothing).  Today was a challenge as well, since it was too miserable and cold out to get on the trail I hit the treadmill, walking for 40 minutes. 

So this week has just been full of challenges, a constant inner struggle with myself on all fronts!  Somehow, despite all of this and those "female hormones" (oh joy) I had a great experience at the scale this week!  I've lost 1.4lbs which brings my total to 1.6 since I started blogging again!

I know this is going to be a long journey and hopefully each week will be another step in the right direction. 

For today's #100happydays one of the teachers at work treated me to a Peppermint hot Chocolate (I do not love coffee!!!!) from Starbucks. What made me even happier is as it was a grande and I didn't need one that big I was able to share it with a friend at work!  Nothing says happiness like sharing a treat with a friend, it makes them happy and it's the right choice when you're watching what you're eating!

The Negotiator

I will spend all day talking myself in and out of the exercise I'm planning on doing after work most days. I negotiate with myself.

You're exhausted ... Go home and sleep.

You've been so busy! ... Go home and relax.

Not feeling to good... Go home and sleep/veg.

Feel like a migraine is coming on, better get home just incase it gets too bad to drive.

You're almost finished that cross stitch project... Go home and stitch!

I could just go on and on! I'll also often tell myself I can get on the treadmill later that night. Sometimes I do many times I don't. I don't know about you, but once I'm relaxed for the night I don't like to get up and get going again.



So after negotiating with myself ALL DAY today, as exhausted as I went here I am, pouty face and all about to go into the gym! Yay me!


- thanks for reading!

Recommitting

Hey there, it's been quite awhile but I think it's time for me to come back. I think documenting this journey will help, so will your support.

Since September I've been working toward recommitting myself to weight loss, Weight Watchers and being active. It's been a slow journey, I've managed to loose 4lbs in 2 and a half months. Not Biggest Looser numbers, but I try to remind myself that it's movement in the right direction.

Why has it been a slow journey this time? I've been of the mindset not to be as strict with myself this time around. Also I'm letting life get in the way too much, when I'm getting off track it's not for an hour or a moment, I'll let it go on for a few days or a week. I need to remind myself that I don't want to give up what I've worked so hard to achieve.

I've just had a week of not counting/eating what I want (or exercising). Though I've enjoyed having treats without the guilt or worry, I'll be seeing those results at the scale tomorrow when I go to my WW meeting. I'm ready to re-recommit myself, to become a little more strict with myself, like I was when I first lost 63 lbs. I have since put back on 30 lbs. I know stopping here, drawing that line in the sand is a victory in itself... But I also promised myself, I'd never go back to the way I was. Here I am half way there.

What am I doing to make this re-recommit happen? I've started tracking using my WW app again, tomorrow morning, I'm going to start tracking everything, honestly. After a week of chaos last week (no time, with so much on my plate), I started exercising again today. I can't let one week beyond my control ruin two and a half months of work. Just a bump in the road.



So here I am, today somewhere in the mid 170's just before my workout.






My old running shoes recently died on me.



I've treated myself to a new pair of running shoes, for years now I've worn the Brooks Dyad, these are the latest model, the Dyad 7. I like that they've moved away from a white runner.

In mid-October I started running again, but doing my own thing outdoors on my favourite trail or in my Village. The colder weather (we've had some snow on the ground) has finally sent me indoors. I've been inspired to start the C25K Program (couch to 5km) to keep me motivated to run on the treadmill to give me a program to focus on, that will keep me going for the next 8 weeks (which should do me into January).






So here' today's program and my Nike+ stats! I am not a fast runner and I don't pretend to be.

It's a start.



- thanks for reading!

Good Choices Feel Good & WW Weekly Meeting

I've had a couple of thoughts, ideas bouncing around in that head of mine lately and today I FINALLY took action on those thoughts.

Thought #1 - I should stop paying weekly for my Weight Watchers meetings but switch to a monthly pass.  This way I HAVE TO GO EVERY WEEK, like I used to.  *Done*  I sat down at the computer today and changed from an eTools subscription to the WW Monthly pass, which also covers eTools.  This is done by an automatic credit card payment so I have to go every week, or I'm throwing away my money and well its cheaper than paying per meeting.  When I was paying per meeting I kept coming up with more excuses not to go.

Thought#2 - Start going to WW meetings on Wednesday nights, instead of Saturday mornings.  *Done*  Tonight I went WW instead of Saturday morning.  Though a morning weigh in is nice because you've not eaten or drank anything in at least 6-8 hours makes the scale a little more friendly... It became another excuse not to go to meetings.  I was too tired to get out of bed (the meeting was 9:45 am which meant getting there earlier than that to weigh in), was one excuse.  Sometimes it was because I'd eat out the night before, or I had plans on Saturday and couldn't make it at all.  I've now removed all of those excuses and I have no reason not to go on Wednesday nights.  So I'm treating this as a fresh start... my weight is up slightly from my last weigh in but that's to be expected when going from AM to PM weigh ins.  So as of today my weight stands at 176.6 lbs.  My initial goal is to get down to 160 lbs, my dream goal would be back to 145 lbs but I'll take what I can get at this point.

Thought#3 - Re-join the gym.  *Done* When I initially lost my weight, it was when I got down to the 170's that I joined the gym then slowly got my weight down to 145!  Not only was I slim but I was fit, strong, healthy!  I have a corporate rate I can take advantage of at Goodlife Fitness which has locations all across Canada, so I can take advantage of any location, not just the one I like to go to (Women's Only is my fav.).  I'll be starting back at the gym on June 1st, I'm looking forward to getting strong again!  I will continue to run, I plan to alternate running and trips to the gym to either use the weight machines or take classes.

I feel really good, and hopeful about each and every one of these decisions!  These should help me be successful!

So this week's topic at Weight Watchers is turning eating into dining.  I am so guilty of eating and not dining! Eating is just shovelling your food in your mouth, barely tasting it, barely enjoying it.  I often catch myself standing at the counter eating, especially breakfast.  Dinner is always eating sitting in my recliner in the living room with the TV on, and playing on my iPad at the same time.

WW recommends turning every meal into a dining experience, something special!  Sit at the table, set it like you would for company... a nice table cloth, candles, some flowers.  We are worth the good dishes too, not just your company!  At work keep a nice place mat to have your lunch on.  If you eat at your desk listen to some music to remind yourself you're having your lunch not working through it!  Arrange your food nicely and with a little colour and flare on a plate.  There is nothing less appetizing that a pale, anemic meal just plopped on a plate!  The idea behind colour and presentation is to encourage us to take our time, enjoy the food we're eating. Its proven if you actually take the time to eat your meal, enjoy some good company you'll notice when you're feeling full and not eat more food/points than you intended.

Its something I should really do, I am trying in the morning to have my breakfast at my very messy table... will we ever start having dinner at the table I doubt it, we use it as time to catch up on TV shows we have on the PVR.  So the change I plan to make this week, is to make more of an effort to eat my breakfast at the table in the morning when I have the time.

Happy Halloween

First of all Happy Halloween!

The kids at work took dressing up quite seriously!  I'm with a couple of Deadmauses!

I'm still finding it very hard to get my act together over this weight loss "thing".  I suppose really I shouldn't call it a "weight loss thing" that really makes this sound like something bad.  This isn't something bad, it should be something good, something I'm excited to do, something I feel great about.  I just don't.

I find I spend a lot of time frustrated with myself lately.  I don't/won't seem to be able to pull all the pieces of the puzzle together.  I know where the pieces are, I know what the puzzle looks like but I'm blindly putting pieces together... very poorly!

Yummy, tasty treats!

What are my challenges?  I need to make better decisions, I need to get control over my impulses!  I seem to be eating on impulse going with what I feel like eating... not what I should or should not be eating.  I also often keep tempting foods around or get offered tempting foods (sweets for me) thinking I'm strong enough to eat it in moderation.  Time and time again I keep proving myself wrong, I don't eat it in moderation (its more like all at once, gorging myself) or just throw it out.  These things I used to have no trouble with.  I would not keep tempting foods around, I would sabotage, throw out or give them away.  I also wouldn't buy them (which I keep doing).

The eating side of things is getting better, but not good enough to really show up at the scale.

No TaeKwon-Do for me right now!

No running either!  That waving blur is me!

The other part of the puzzle I'm trying to pull together is exercise.  I've had a foot injury since the end of July and I've been pretty much off of impact activities for months!  I was only allowed to walk short distances or cycle.  In September I re-joined the gym so I could take advantage of the stationary bikes, elliptical and weight equipment.  I was pretty good at going for at least twice a week for most of September and the first two weeks of October.  The last few weeks... not so much.  I've been focusing on that this week.  I've used my treadmill at home and I finally got into the gym tonight.

A little time on the tens machine at physio

Did a little too much one week and ended up with a nicely swollen ankle! 

Taping up for a little extra support!

I just need to get my head around this food/impulse control thing.

One of Life's Proud Moments

Despite all that's going on I am still finding moments for life and commitments I have made and following through with them.  This past Sunday was an event I had committed to back in the spring by registering for the Army Run 1/2 Marathon!  I had every excuse in the book to drop out, to sell my race bib this year.

I used the heat as an excuse not to get out and run often and far enough (wasn't it stinkin' hot this year?).  Then almost 3 weeks prior to Race Day life was turned upside down with Mum's hospitalization.  I didn't let any of those excuses hold me back or stop me ... I spent the week leading up to race day freaking out, worried about how prepared I wasn't and so on.  As Nike says: "Just Do It" and that's what I intended to do.  My goal was just to cross the finish line, I didn't care how I did it, or how long it would take!

 This is what Freakin' Dark O'Clock looks like

I woke up Sunday morning at Freakin' Dark O'Clock!  Not my favourite time of the day.  With my bag packed the night before, and running clothes set out, I made a fantastic protein smoothie for breakfast and set out for what I was considering to be the craziest day of my life!

 Can't you tell I LOVE mornings?

Witness our nervous smiles?

I met up with my friends Amy and Marline.  Amy was supposed to walk the 1/2 marathon (21.1 K) but she sadly declared when I saw her at the end of August that she was "broken again" but that she would be my "Race Day Bitch" aka: chauffeur, photographer, Sherpa, water boy and more!  I couldn't turn that down.  Amy was going to take care of both Marline and I that day, Marline was doing her first race ever, the 5K event and I was doing the 1/2 marathon (did I mention that's 21.1K?). 

 Marline and I in our Army Run swat.  Black = 1/2 marathon, White = 5K

The morning started off cold, pretty darned cold!  I started the morning in a sweater but I gave it to Amy once I went to find my starting corral.  I didn't want to be burdened and I knew as soon as I got started I would be warm enough.  By the end of my race, it was a perfect day, sunny and 20c the conditions couldn't of been better!

 Injured Soldiers getting ready to start the 5K race

The 5K race started at 8am.  There was lots of ceremony to the event, the Governor General's Band was there to lead us through O'Canada, there were MC's, lots of press and more.  The start the race with the injured soldiers who get a head start.  That was one of the most emotional things I have ever witnessed!  You saw all kinds of injured soldiers some in chairs, some with one prosthetic leg, some with two.  There were wheelchairs, crutches, canes and more.  It was truly moving to see all these men and women whose life have been changed forever serving our country.  Marline used to serve in the military and she was doing the race with a friend of hers who was injured while in the service, she's in a back brace.  Amy and I both had tears rolling down our faces.  Then the 5K runners were off!

 5K Runners waiting to start

Not long after they took off, I had time for a quick visit to the porta-potty and I had to go find my corral.  I had initially pegged myself as finishing in 2hr 30min.  I knew after the summer I had that this wasn't a reality, I figured I would be more in the 3hr range.  The next thing I knew the Howlizter Cannon went off and it was time to get moving!  I turned my music on as I crossed the start line and off I went to conquer 21.1 K as best as I could!

 Getting a high-five from Marline at the 18K mark

The course took us past Parliament Hill, The Supreme Court, National Library & Archives Canada, National War Museum, across the river and into the province of Quebec for a jog through downtown Hull, back across the Alexandria Bridge, past the National Art Gallery, National Mint, 24 Sussex Drive (the PM's house) and up to Rideau Hall then back towards the Rideau Center, down once side of the Rideau Canal across it and back up the other side to the finish line.

My initial goal was to run as long as I could, I figured somewhere between 5-8K the do the rest of the distance at a run/walk (10 min/1 min).  I even surprised myself and RAN THE FIRST 14 KM!  Well over half of the distance!

 Mark who had already run the 1/2 Marathon talking me through the last 2K to the finish line

I knew a couple of other people who were running the 1/2 Marathon that day.  My buddy Mark from Taekwon-do passed me when I was at the 3K mark and he was at the 6K mark.  Carrie from work passed when I was at the 14K mark and she at the 16K mark.  It really was a bolster to see friends running too!  I had the best surprise when I hit the 19K mark and I was starting to run out of steam and my body was starting to protest.  Mark who had already ran the 1/2 marathon was waiting for me and asked me if I'd like him to run the last few KMs with me.  I certainly didn't turn down the offer.  Mark was amazing, he kept up this continuous pep-talk to keep my moving and my spirits up when I was nearing the end of my endurance.  Because of Mark I finished, and I finished strong!

 V-I-C-T-O-R-Y!!!!

I couldn't believe it as the finish line came into sight and I saw 2:55:10 on the clock!  I was going to cross the line in UNDER 3 hours!  2:49:42.6 was my official time when you take into account the time difference between the gun going off and when I actually crossed the start line.

 Receiving my medal from a Canadian Soldier

Nice touch!  Dog tags for medals!

Looking amazingly fresh and happy after finishing my FIRST Half Marathon

This was one of the most amazing, empowering, and positive moments in my life!  Right now I feel like I could do anything!  I'd like to think that one of my strengths is how when I put my mind to accomplishing something I WILL accomplish it no matter how hard the challenge is.

 Cooling down afterwards and using my cool silver blankie as a super-hero cape!  I felt like a super-hero!

I went from this fat, unhealthy 200+ pound girl in 2007 who the only time you would of seen her running was out of a burning building, to running a 1/2 Marathon 21.1 K!!!

You can do truly amazing things when you're stubborn!

I'm Here, I'm Trying to Come Back

Its been a long time hasn't it?  If you're here, reading this and checking in on me thank you so much for sticking with me!  It just proves that there are people behind me in my struggle to "stay skinny".

What a struggle it has been!  Back in late March/April "staying skinny" suddenly hit a stumbling block.  I ate myself up seven pounds in two weeks.  Despite affirmations from friends and the people around me with the usual line that I truly hate "don't worry, you'll get it back off" echoing in my ears I have not gotten it off.  So I'm still not where I should be, my goal weight.  As of this morning's weigh in I am currently 8.2 lbs over my "magic number"  In terms of weight loss over the summer I seemed to fluctuate up and down three pounds but I've not even cracked that 5lbs within my goal weight. 

I've had stints this summer where I have a very good 2-3 weeks  I eat right, track honestly, and move more.  During that time I'll fight tooth and nail and drop 2-3lbs 0.3-0.5lbs at a time no big drops in weight just little dribs and drabs.  Then the next thing I know I gain over a pound one two weeks in a row and I'm back where I started.  Its almost been like a broken record for months now.

I saw an all time high at the scale on Monday, after a weekend of camping... which I wasn't as bad as I could of been.  Also I did some very serous trail running and hill training with some friends leaving me very sore.  I found myself weighing 157 lbs.  Oh boy, not good at all, when you consider my goal weight is 145.  I did have a sneaking suspicion (since I was up 3 lbs from Friday) that some of the weight was due to fluid retention and lactic acid in my poor muscles!  I started that morning weighing and measuring all my food, tracking every lick, taste, and bite and managing temptations.  I also decided at the moment that I need to weigh myself daily so there are no Friday morning surprises anymore!  Its been encouraging this week to watch the scale drop a little each day.  This morning, I was down 4lbs from Monday!  From last Friday's official weigh in to this Friday I'm down 1 lb which is again, encouraging especially considering most weeks where I have had losses they've been under a pound.

Here's the last couple of months at a glance:

The sad thing to all of this is I should be able to do this, I should be a success, I have been a success.  For some reason it just doesn't want to click, and when it does click its for a few short weeks.

So this week the motivation is there and I feel like I can do this.

Where have I gone wrong for months now?  I can assure you these are all excuses:

• exercise has been erratic, good weeks where I earn more than the minimum suggested activity points according to Weight Watchers (over 28)
• exercise excuses : too hot to run (actually it was a stupid hot summer), too tired, raining outside (bullshit because I have a treadmill), too busy, etc.  My distance running has seriously suffered since the Kilt Run at the end of July, partially because that was such a hard race for me.  I think I made it into the gym less than 5 times, the only times I did go into Taekwon-Do was when I was on the schedule to teach
• Not tracking
• Half assed tracking
• Dishonest tracking
• Poor eating and a little too much ice cream
• Too much fruit, yes there is such a thing
• Getting into the habit of eating when I got home from work despite not really being hungry
• Eating dinner very late (between 8-9 PM)
• Having a quick snack right before going to bed despite not being hungry
• Eyeballing portions
• Stupidly going to the Lindtt Chcolate outlet and buying a ridiculous amount of chocolate, now on the upside I did gift a lot of it and share a lot of it.
• Did not go to any Weight Watchers meetings all summer long, but I did make a point of weighing in once a month ... and paying which is required of a lifetime member who is over their goal weight.  Sadly having to pay $17.00 to weigh in has not motivated me enough to get my act together.

So you can see there many stumbling blocks that I have shared with you, areas for me to improve upon.  Like I said I started fresh again this Monday, like I have too many times to count this summer and here's what I've focused on:

• Weighing/measuring food
• Tracking 100% honestly, every lick, taste and bite
• Almost daily exercise, I've run almost 17 km this week, gone to Taekwon-Do once, the gym once.  I managed to get in some form of activity Saturday-Wednesday this past week
• No tempting foods, no treats except the ginger cookies I allow myself to have in the house.
• I turned down pizza for lunch on Wednesday
• Despite the temptation to get ice cream on two occasions this week I didn't
• I'm dealing with a VERY SERIOUS STRESSOR and I've not reported to stress or emotional eating AT ALL (so far)
• Despite being 10lbs over goal weight on Wednesday (155 lbs) I went and weighed in for the month anyhow, I was very tempted not to bother but I made myself go.

Besides deciding it was time to take the bull by the horns, get this soaring weight under control I've had a very tough week.  I work in a school, and the kids come back next week so its been crazy trying to get my library ready for the first day of school (next Tuesday), and I can assure you ... its not ready.  This summer I had to deal with packing my entire collection into boxes so the room could be completely emptied for the carpets to be replaced.  When I came back from holidays I lost a week of unpacking boxes to working in the main office since all of the administrative assistants were still on their holidays.  I then lost two days this week to software training... not only was I dealing with a collection in boxes, I have a new library software to learn.

Then on Wednesday night my Mum was taken by ambulance to the hospital.  She had not been well for some time now, but we couldn't get her to seek medical attention.  This week things were bad, and my Dad had to resort to calling 911 to get some help to get my Mum to the hospital.  She was admitted that night, and she's been there since.  We don't have a clear picture on what's wrong yet, we just know its to do with her liver.  So between trying to get the library set up at work the last two days (which I must admit was not very productive) I've been spending my evenings at the hospital keeping my Mum company until visiting hours are over.  Its been emotional, its been hard its been stressful.

My Mum is not well, she's very weak but I'm already seeing some improvements.  Her colour is returning (last time I had seen her, she had a grey pallor), today the IV fluids were no longer needed and she's gone from IV antibiotics to being given a pill.  She's eating her meals (she wasn't eating), and drinking plenty of fluids.  She's had a few tests already, an MRI is next on the list.

At this point I need to stay positive, to not just take care of my Mum but take care of myself.  To remember to stop and eat good food when I'm hungry, and drink my water.  I've realized over the last two days that I kept forgetting to drink my water.  At the moment I've not been tempted to bury my emotions by shoving food in my face but if that urge does arise I hope I can recognize it and do my best not to give in.  I also will be challenged to find the time to exercise (and to run... I'm doing a 1/2 marathon in 16 days!) as my Dad does need a break from being at the hospital, so I've been spending the evenings there so far.

My shift at the hospital tomorrow isn't until the evening since my brother is able to take care of a few hours.  So I'm hoping to go to a meeting in the morning and get in a run.  Ideally I'd like to get in 5-10K, if my run ends up being on the shorter side tomorrow, then Sunday will definitely be the day for my long run.

So there it is... I've laid it all out here for you and the world to read.  My shortcomings (failures) this summer, my repeated attempts to jump start getting back to goal.  I'm not sure how long it'll be before I post again since I am dealing/coping with an ill parent.

Here are some pictures from this summer of some of the things I did, I did enjoy my summer.

 Fishing with Todd... no I don't want to kiss the pike!

 Playing tourist in Quebec City

 Teaching at the TKD annual outdoor training/camping weekend

Taking in a show