This post is titled failures because this is how I've been feeling for a long time now. I know exactly when it started too, February of 2011 when I reached the lowest weight in my adult life, 142 lbs. I would say this was the lowest weight I have even been including my teen years. I felt amazing, I felt invincible! Then it all went wrong, very wrong. The beginning of April that year I put on 7lbs in 2 weeks! Somehow, I couldn't/wouldn't get it back off. So April of that year saw me sitting at about 150. By January of this year I was sitting at 155, up another 5 lbs.
At this point in my life being a Weight Warchers member/attending meetings was no longer a priority in my life, like it had been for so many years. More of the year went by and I'd sporadically go back to meetings. There was a gap from February-July. This time when I went back, up to 165 that's another 10 lbs on. August I went to one meeting, and another gap... That's right another 5lbs.
(Don't you love my leader's outlook on things?)
So where has the last almost two years gotten me? Nowhere but failure I have pretty much re-gained HALF of the weight I lost. Failure, that's the only way to put it.
I SWORE I WAS NEVER GOING BACK. WTF, I'm half way there.
My friends still tell me I'm thin, liars. If they saw how much of my "skinny" wardrobe I'm not wearing they'd know the truth. Acquaintances tell me I look fantastic, liars they have no clue I don't wear my form fitting clothes anymore. My family hasn't given me a reality check either, my partner has. He's been kind enough to let me know I'm getting "squishy". No matter what I know he loves me. He's known me from thick to thin and has accepted me no matter my size.
The only other things that have told me the truth besides Todd is: the scale, my clothes, and the mirror.
I've been back to Weight Watchers meetings two weeks in a row now. That's a start, in my first week back I've lost 0.5 lbs.
- thanks for reading!