Saturday, May 11, 2013

Checked Out

I've done it once again, something I've been doing a lot for the last 2-3 years. I've been checking out, I haven't really blogged in 3 weeks.   This time I didn't only check out on my non-existent weight loss efforts but I have seemed to have checked out on life itself.

Over the last 3 weeks I let my house get messier and dirtier until company coming over last weekend forced me to finally clean the house. I not only stopped blogging here, but blogging entirely and it's very unlike me to neglect my other blog, I've been keeping that blog going with fairly regular posts for over 10 years now. My eating habits got worse instead of better, sugar and chocolate became my best friends. The first two weeks I kept up with my running/walking program. 

It was this week that things truly went to hell. This week I stopped caring about everything. I've put on MORE weight, I gobbled back food like its going out of style. 

I didn't want to be at work, or make an effort there either. Out of five days I think I was on time twice.  Monday-Wednesday I found myself coming home from work and going to bed for a few hours, a cycle I find very hard to break.   Then yesterday at lunch we had "salad day" instead of sitting at the table and visiting I found myself aline on the couch with my stitching. I know I was also not the best company while I was out for dinner with my friend Christin.

I ran once. I told myself not to give up on my running program, my progress... I ran once instead of the three times I should have.  Once again I've given up on myself. 

Each night this eek I've told myself, you're going to start over tomorrow. I wake up then next morning, saying today is a fresh start. Each day by 9:30 that start had been thrown out the window. 

So here it is for everyone to see, today I'm starting over again. My goals for this week are:

To complete week 4 of the C25K Program
Keep doing my squats (up to 105 so far)
Be mindful of my food choices
Track my food honestly
Go to Weight Watchers on Wednesdays instead of Saturdays (just not working for me)

I can do this....right?


jayne@~an eye for threads~ said...

Hey Dani,
Sometimes you just have to check out for a bit. You will get back on track and surprise yourself at how quickly it can happen again. You have taken acknowledgment to a public level and that is responsible itself. Not an easy task but what in life is easy?
Cheers to getting back your activities.
As always

Anonymous said...

I totally get where you are coming from, but yes, you CAN do it. And if you can't do it for a whole day, do it for just this hour!

I was doing so well, and then today ate something that really shouldn't have been ordered AND it made me feel crappy so I petered out on my afternoon walk after half a mile.

:-( Sheesh --- why can't we stick with a good program?????

Karen said...

Hey Dani, it sounds like you're a bit depressed. I know when I'm feeling down, I eat horribly and just want to sleep. Hopefully things will turn around for you soon. I know you can do this! :)

Great job with keeping up with the squats!!

TheDailyMel said...

You can definitely do this, Dani! I don't know how I missed that you had a separate blog for your weight loss. Off to add it to my Reeder app now!