I CAN do it

Greetings, I'm not 100% back to normal yet.  I'm still having up days and down days, the down days still seem to out number the up days.  This means I'm having good and bad food days.  I'm still struggling to get my inner food monster under control.  I constantly catch myself eating when I'm not hungry, eating just because, eating to fill something that's empty or bothering me.  I just wish I could pinpoint what's causing me to be down and at times eating out of control.  Its not full on binging but its moments of unnecessary eating and giving into cravings.  I am also been trying to make myself exercise when I really don't want to.

So I am trying to do the right things even if I'm not being as successful as I'd like.

Last week's efforts found myself only loosing 0.5 of the 5.5 lbs I put on.  I don't have high expectations for this week's weigh in as I'm still not being smart with my food.

As for the I can do it part...  I was determined this year to do at least one official timed race.  Back in the fall I registered for the Ottawa Race Weekend 10K (it will be near the end of May).  I have been running on the treadmill all winter long in preparation for this, and in the last few weeks I've been getting outdoors for some glorious road running.  I must admit I have a huge mental block when it comes to running at the treadmill.  I for some reason have it in my head that after 3KM I just can't do it any longer.  Really, its not interesting running, staring at your partner's assorted tools stored in the basement.  With the recent warmer (sometimes) weather I'm getting out doors and putting in a little more distance 4-5KM but still not the 10K I'll be doing in about 5 weeks.

Tonight I got on the treadmill, when again I didn't really feel like doing it (it is very cold and wet out today!).  At first I told myself I would be allowed to get off after 15 minutes.  Then I decided I could get off at 2 Miles.  After I passed that point, I decided to make it 5KM, then I finally thought to heck with it, I was going to put in a 10KM I had to do one sooner or later.  Now I didn't run the entire distance.  I did run non-stop for the first 30 minutes, after that I ran at a 5:1 ratio (run 5min, walk 1min).  I was impressed with myself, that yes I could make the distance and that I was able to run at a consistent 5.7 on the treadmill.  When I first started running a few years ago I ran at a 4.8 and was doing a 1:5 ratio.  I have come a long way.

Now that I know I can do it I won't be stressing out about Race Day, too much.  I also registered for a second run, this one is on July 2nd.  This is not just any run, but a 5 mile KILT run... yes a KILT!  The kilt is mandatory to participate in the run.  I am really looking forward to this run, its going to be so fun.  I promise you there WILL be pictures!

By the way, according to the Nike+ site since October 2010 I have run over 300 KM.  How's that for a fat chick who was appalled at the idea of running?