Not Doing So Well

I am frustrated with myself and my inability to shake this weight.  Its actually not the inability but the constant self-sabotaging over and over again.  I'm at an all time high since achieving my goal weight of 145 lbs, this morning I weighed in at 153.8 I've not weighed this much since December of 2008 when I was loosing my weight.  Its been 11 weeks of good tries at it and half-assed attempts, I really wish I could say its been 11 weeks of trying hard of eating 100% properly but its been not.  Its been one week of working hard, being active, eating right, and feeling proud of myself to being stupid and feeling like a piece of shit about the food I've shovelled into my face until my stomach hurt.

I go to bed each night and wake up every morning with the best of intentions, I have a good breakfast I pack a healthy lunch and snacks for the day... some days I even have to pack dinner too because of either teaching at Taekwon-Do or my Ultimate Frisbee games I don't have time to go home after work.  My house is stocked with the best of intentions too.  But good intentions don't get good results and kinda sorta doing it kinda sorta doesn't work either.

I don't know what to do with myself I don't know how to make it "click" again.  When I was actively loosing my weight I had no problem resisting, saying "no thanks".  Now its using the backhoe to shovel whatever's sweet into my mouth.

Something needs to change, the sweets is one of them.  I'm thinking something else needs to change but I'm scratching my head at what it is.  I am eating empty calories, yes but I'm not just eating empty calories and I'm not running a deficit when it comes to my daily/weekly/activity points.  I'm also earning a minimum of 20 activity points a week so its not my old habits of eating anything I want and sitting on my behind.  My activities are a combination of Taekwon-Do, walking, running, the gym and ultimate Frisbee.  So its not a my workout being static either.


I'm also tired of hearing people say "don't worry you'll get it off".  Sitting at over 150 lbs for 11 weeks now, yeah I'm worrying and I'm tired of my pants feeling tight.

Weekly Meeting Topic Week 22: Best Supporting Actors

Who supports you?

A key element to being successful in your weight loss journey is to have a personal support system in place.  This can be your own personal cheering section, someone to help you second guess your food choice when you're about to make a poor one, someone to go get in a work out with, and so much more!

So who is your best supporting actor, who would give you an Oscar to?

• Family (parents, kids, etc)
• Your partner
• Friends
• Co-Workers
• Fellow WW members
• Online (Weight Watchers message boards & other weight-loss communities, facebook, blogs, and so much more)
• Weight Watchers magazines and Success stories

Some people don't have a support system, you may feel you don't need one.  Are you keeping your weight loss journey a secret?  Why?  You can't do this alone and having a support system to encourage you along, and help keep you accountable will make you more successful in your weight loss journey.

More importantly, don't forget to: THANK YOUR SUPPORT SYSTEM!

I have to thank EACH and every one of you, you're a huge part of my support system and deserve a huge "bravo" sticker from me!!!!

Before I end this post I wanted to share with you a poem my leader gave us before leaving as she was talking about that if you believe in yourself you will achieve your goals.

Believe In Yourself

Believe in yourself, in the power you have
to control your own life, day by day!

Believe in the strength that you have deep inside
and your faith will help show you the way!

Believe in tomorrow and what it will bring,
let a hopeful heart carry you through

For things will work out!  If you trust and believe
there's NO LIMIT to what you can do!

-- Author Unknown

The words "Believe... Achieve" are words I see every time I walk into the Dojang at Taekwon-Do and for some reason I never let them really sink in... they sunk in on Saturday, not at the Dojang but at my WW meeting!  I'll never take them for granted again.

The Week In Review May 27-Jun2

Once again my week started off well with good intentions.  Points-wise I did well every day except Wednesday, but I had a slight issue with ice cream this week.  That' and Wednesday's atrocious eating contributed to a 1.8 lb weight gain.  I'm still not nipping this weight gain in the bud but I keep trying.

Here's my week in review (click to biggify)

The Good

• I ran my first 10K race ever on Saturday!
• I ate well Friday-Tuesday
• I have kept out of the candy dishes at work
• I scored my first point ever at Ultimate Frisbee!
• I keep going to my weekly WW meetings
• I tracked honestly (despite Wednesday)

The Bad

• I did not exercise enough this past week, I only ran my 10K and played Ultimate
• Ice cream!

The Ugly

• Wednesday: I started out with a good breakfast but then I wen to a 1/2 day meeting.  I started off with a muffin bar.  From there it went to two slices of awful pizza (I don't mean evil pizza, but pretty crappy pizza that wasn't worth the points).  I should of stopped at one or really not eaten it at all.  Then there was a piece of cake, then a decadent ice cream bar.  After I got home from Ultimate I ate two bowls of cereal and 5 chocolate caramel rice cakes.  Yup it was a disastrous over 40pt day!!!

Upcoming Challenges

• Ice cream, I can only have it once this week (which I did tonight).
• Get in one long run this weekend
• Be active 6/7 days
• Cook dinner!
• I'll need to keep running, I just registered for a 1/2 Marathon in September with Amy!

Weekly Meeting Topic Week 21: Exercise

Sorry I didn't post last week's meeting topic any sooner.  I figured I deserved a break on Sunday, I taught at TKD all night on Monday, Tuesday I had a massage and chilled, Wednesday I wasn't home long until I had to head out to my Ultimate game.  So I've been busy-ish, and definitely getting to bed earlier than I used to.

Last Saturday's meeting topic couldn't of been a more timely one, as the topic was exercise and what was I doing that evening?  Why running my first 10K race that evening!

What can I say about exercise that I haven't said in the past?  Not much, really.  You've heard it before, and you'll hear it again, find an activity that YOU LIKE and go from there... go out and enjoy it!  If you're not used to being active start slow, don't expect to go out and run 5K if you've never run a day in your life and you have bad knees.  Maybe your start is just a walk around the block, then the following week, two laps of the block.  Its a start... and you're moving!  According to the gurus at Weight Watchers they suggest we earn 4-6 exercise points per day.  How long it takes you to earn those points depends on several factors, how much you weigh (obviously someone who weighs more will burn more calories when they walk that block, than the person who has their last few pounds to loose) and what your level of exertion is (low, moderate, high).  Also you don't have to do that activity all at once it can be spread out through the day.  I have to admit I've got to work pretty darned hard to earn 4 points in under 30 minutes!





So what are your EXERSCUSES?

• Too hot/too cold
• Don't have the time
• Bad knees
• Don't like to sweat
• Too tired
• Don't like it
• Don't like doing it alone
• Don't like doing it in public
• Gyms are expensive
• Its raining outside
• There's too many bugs

 

The Martial Artist

The Runner

I've managed to go from being an overweight Taekwon-Do instructor, to a girl within 10lbs of her goal weight (the body just doesn't want to go there no matter how hard I try), now a 3rd Degree Black belt and instructor whose skills have improved because I'm much slimmer.  Not only that, I go to the gym to lift weights, as my previous post proves I'm a runner, and just in the last two weeks I started Ultimate Frisbee (never played before, and scored my first point last night!).  When you read about all the things I do now, remember if you're just started your journey I was where you are now, sitting on my couch shovelling food in my face, not even wanting to try.   I did start out walking for my activity because I couldn't do Taekwon-Do due to a bad food injury that had keep me inactive for a year and a half.  Its taken me over 3 years to get to this point.