Weigh In

Just a quick post...

Tonight I weighed in, its not quite been a week since I've stepped on the scale  (last weighed in on Saturday, 4 days ago).  I do prefer if I can, to weigh in on Saturday mornings, its first thing out of bed, no food in my belly, etc.  You know the excuses.  Wednesday night weigh ins means I've had breakfast, and lunch, and stopped drinking water after lunchtime.  Of course I'd have better results on Saturday.

Unfortunately my weigh in wasn't exactly what I wanted (see excuses above) but not a disaster either, I stayed the same this week.

I have to keep things positive!  Otherwise I'll end up just giving up again, and putting on another 10 lbs.

• I've been to my 4th WW meeting in a row
• I didn't gain any weight
• I've been working hard this week and I'm feeling good for it
• I'm eating much better than I have in over 6 months.
• I feel like my clothes are starting to fit a little better.

Positive right????

This weekend I have a lot of food challenges and temptations to face and overcome.  I hope I can handle them well, I'd hate to ruin all the hard work I've put in this week!

Thank You Joe Fresh!

Tonight I experienced on of my first non-scale victories in a long time!




I've been really making an effort to do some kind of physical activity daily. Today's grand master plan was to go to my meeting at another school after work, which happened to be in the area of town I go to my stitching group. So last night I packed my gym bag, I knew I'd have time to get in a workout, grab a bite to eat and get to stitching in time. The Goodlife location I went to wasn't my usual one, but that's the convenience of belonging to a franchise gym. I got into the change room started unpacking my bag to change into my workout clothes. I went through my bag twice, no sports bra! Crap! Double crap!

At first I thought about keeping on the one I was wearing. Not a good idea since I was't going right home... well it also wouldn't do the job. So I thought about it for a second... I could just skip my workout. That was the easy route. Then I remembered the grocery store downstairs had a Joe Fresh clothing section... just maybe....

I was able to buy a sports bra, get back up to the gym and get in a 40 minute workout!!!

I'd say that's a non-scale victory worth celebrating!

- thanks for reading!

Weigh In Day

This week I decided to put off weighing in at Weight Watchers until Saturday.  I'm lucky, my leader does meetings on Wednesdays and Saturdays.  So if I can't make it to a meeting there's always a second day I can choose from.  From time to time I've gone to meetings in other locations with other leaders because I couldn't make my regular meetings and I keep finding no one compares to Marianne.  She's just so dynamic and makes any topic interesting.

I think a good leader is a huge key to success to the members.  From time to time its been nice to pop into different meetings and see how other WW leaders conduct their meetings.  Almost every time it makes me realize just how lucky I am to have the leader I do!  This summer I had gone back to WW yet again and Marianne was on holidays, the woman who was filling in was such a horrible speaker and so flat... that first I almost walked out of the meeting (if it hadn't been rude to do so) the end result... I didn't go back until three weeks ago!  Its amazing how the right person can motivate you and the wrong person can make you walk out the door.

I had a GREAT weigh in this week, much better than I could hope for!  I am very proud of myself that I've now been going to meetings for three weeks in a row.  The first half of the week was a little sketchy with my food choices.  I did start it off right on Monday night.  Despite going to an after work meeting, an impromptu road trip to Ogdensburg, N.Y with my friend Tracey (you can read about the reason for this road trip on my other blog on Tuesday) and not getting home until after 8PM I jumped on my treadmill!  This set me on the road to a good week with activity!  Monday I walked/ran on my treadmill, Wednesday and Friday I went to the gym.  I know when I'm active I'm more conscience about my food choices, just seems easier.  I wasn't perfect, I wasn't great, but I was good this week.  This resulted in a 1.5lb loss!  That is two pounds down, and better yet I dropped into the 160's!  I'm just into them but its such a morale boost its amazing!

I've started my day off right, a walk/run on my treadmill, I've gone to WW, put my laundry away, and had a healthy brunch.  Now to keep this up for another week and maybe see another loss next week!

Happy Halloween

First of all Happy Halloween!

The kids at work took dressing up quite seriously!  I'm with a couple of Deadmauses!

I'm still finding it very hard to get my act together over this weight loss "thing".  I suppose really I shouldn't call it a "weight loss thing" that really makes this sound like something bad.  This isn't something bad, it should be something good, something I'm excited to do, something I feel great about.  I just don't.

I find I spend a lot of time frustrated with myself lately.  I don't/won't seem to be able to pull all the pieces of the puzzle together.  I know where the pieces are, I know what the puzzle looks like but I'm blindly putting pieces together... very poorly!

Yummy, tasty treats!

What are my challenges?  I need to make better decisions, I need to get control over my impulses!  I seem to be eating on impulse going with what I feel like eating... not what I should or should not be eating.  I also often keep tempting foods around or get offered tempting foods (sweets for me) thinking I'm strong enough to eat it in moderation.  Time and time again I keep proving myself wrong, I don't eat it in moderation (its more like all at once, gorging myself) or just throw it out.  These things I used to have no trouble with.  I would not keep tempting foods around, I would sabotage, throw out or give them away.  I also wouldn't buy them (which I keep doing).

The eating side of things is getting better, but not good enough to really show up at the scale.

No TaeKwon-Do for me right now!

No running either!  That waving blur is me!

The other part of the puzzle I'm trying to pull together is exercise.  I've had a foot injury since the end of July and I've been pretty much off of impact activities for months!  I was only allowed to walk short distances or cycle.  In September I re-joined the gym so I could take advantage of the stationary bikes, elliptical and weight equipment.  I was pretty good at going for at least twice a week for most of September and the first two weeks of October.  The last few weeks... not so much.  I've been focusing on that this week.  I've used my treadmill at home and I finally got into the gym tonight.

A little time on the tens machine at physio

Did a little too much one week and ended up with a nicely swollen ankle! 

Taping up for a little extra support!

I just need to get my head around this food/impulse control thing.

Failures

It's been a very long time since I've been here. I think about two weeks shy of a year. I stopped writing because I felt like I was only paying lip service to my weight loss journey. I have/had lost all focus in all areas of my life.

This post is titled failures because this is how I've been feeling for a long time now. I know exactly when it started too, February of 2011 when I reached the lowest weight in my adult life, 142 lbs. I would say this was the lowest weight I have even been including my teen years. I felt amazing, I felt invincible! Then it all went wrong, very wrong. The beginning of April that year I put on 7lbs in 2 weeks! Somehow, I couldn't/wouldn't get it back off. So April of that year saw me sitting at about 150. By January of this year I was sitting at 155, up another 5 lbs.

At this point in my life being a Weight Warchers member/attending meetings was no longer a priority in my life, like it had been for so many years. More of the year went by and I'd sporadically go back to meetings. There was a gap from February-July. This time when I went back, up to 165 that's another 10 lbs on. August I went to one meeting, and another gap... That's right another 5lbs.



(Don't you love my leader's outlook on things?)

So where has the last almost two years gotten me? Nowhere but failure I have pretty much re-gained HALF of the weight I lost. Failure, that's the only way to put it.

I SWORE I WAS NEVER GOING BACK. WTF, I'm half way there.

My friends still tell me I'm thin, liars. If they saw how much of my "skinny" wardrobe I'm not wearing they'd know the truth. Acquaintances tell me I look fantastic, liars they have no clue I don't wear my form fitting clothes anymore. My family hasn't given me a reality check either, my partner has. He's been kind enough to let me know I'm getting "squishy". No matter what I know he loves me. He's known me from thick to thin and has accepted me no matter my size.

The only other things that have told me the truth besides Todd is: the scale, my clothes, and the mirror.



I've been back to Weight Watchers meetings two weeks in a row now. That's a start, in my first week back I've lost 0.5 lbs.


- thanks for reading!