Sunday, April 14, 2013

Boy, That Hurt

I'm currently fighting the urge to go stuff my face, being hurt does that to you.

A little background: I'm a 3rd Degree Black Belt in ITF Taekwon-Do, I've been involved in TKD since 1997, and up until my injury I was also an instructor at the TKD school I attended.

Its amazing how small things can hurt you pretty deeply sometimes.  This morning I'm cruising Facebook to discover that this weekend there had been Black Belt testing at my Taekwon-Do school.  Boy that hurt, to find out via social media that such an important event had gone on.  That some of my classmates and also students were celebrating such a big milestone in their Taekwon-Do journey.

It seems silly but a couple of hours later I'm still really hurt, that I didn't warrant an FYI, a heads up, or an e-mail that testing was going on... I would of liked to have been there.

Teaching at our annual outdoor training day

Now I admit, I've not stepped foot into the dojang as a student or an instructor since late summer when all of of this pain with my foot came to a head and I just couldn't be active in that way anymore.  In November, my school hosted a tournament and I was asked to be involved and kept in the loop.  I was there, I helped with set-up, admissions, and participated as a center Judge in the rings during the tournament.  I've not really heard a peep since, its amazing how quickly you get forgotten sometimes.

I think what makes this hurt stronger is that back in February I received a call from my Sabum, the owner of the school.  He wasn't calling to see how I was doing.  Nope, I help manage the school's Facebook page and he had a few concerns about the look and moderating membership.  At the end of the conversation he asked me "Have you forgotten how to put on a dobok?"  This whole phone conversation bothered me a little, that there was no contact in over three months, only when something was needed.  That after months all you can do is ask me if I've forgotten how to put my uniform on?!!

So with that phone call and now finding out through Facebook that I missed an important event really hurt my feelings.  Its also solidifying the fact that I don't want to go back... yet.  Now that my foot seems to be doing okay (I'm testing it in slow measures, and TKD can be really hard on your feet), my first goals are to start running and to get those extra pounds back off, then go back to TKD.

Right now I'm really not regretting my decision not to rush back.  At this moment as things stand,  I don't know if I want to go back.


Amy said...

I get where you are coming from. I did a whole post about something similar. It does hurt and I often wonder (for me anyway) if it's because I have grown so used to it growing up...always being left out or thinking people were talking behind my back or making plans that didn't include me.

Perhaps it is time to find a new location?

Change can be good. If change is not what you want....perhaps you need to confront them. Sometimes people just don't have any clue that they way they acted effects others. I am pretty sure that the people who picked on me and made life hell have no memory of doing it.

Karen said...

I've been down this road too. I always "try" to take the high road in such matters, if you know what I mean. Never an easy thing to deal with though. Hopefully evenutally you will be able to get back to TKD, even if it's at a different place.