Friday, June 17, 2011

Not Doing So Well

I am frustrated with myself and my inability to shake this weight.  Its actually not the inability but the constant self-sabotaging over and over again.  I'm at an all time high since achieving my goal weight of 145 lbs, this morning I weighed in at 153.8 I've not weighed this much since December of 2008 when I was loosing my weight.  Its been 11 weeks of good tries at it and half-assed attempts, I really wish I could say its been 11 weeks of trying hard of eating 100% properly but its been not.  Its been one week of working hard, being active, eating right, and feeling proud of myself to being stupid and feeling like a piece of shit about the food I've shovelled into my face until my stomach hurt.

I go to bed each night and wake up every morning with the best of intentions, I have a good breakfast I pack a healthy lunch and snacks for the day... some days I even have to pack dinner too because of either teaching at Taekwon-Do or my Ultimate Frisbee games I don't have time to go home after work.  My house is stocked with the best of intentions too.  But good intentions don't get good results and kinda sorta doing it kinda sorta doesn't work either.

I don't know what to do with myself I don't know how to make it "click" again.  When I was actively loosing my weight I had no problem resisting, saying "no thanks".  Now its using the backhoe to shovel whatever's sweet into my mouth.

Something needs to change, the sweets is one of them.  I'm thinking something else needs to change but I'm scratching my head at what it is.  I am eating empty calories, yes but I'm not just eating empty calories and I'm not running a deficit when it comes to my daily/weekly/activity points.  I'm also earning a minimum of 20 activity points a week so its not my old habits of eating anything I want and sitting on my behind.  My activities are a combination of Taekwon-Do, walking, running, the gym and ultimate Frisbee.  So its not a my workout being static either.


I'm also tired of hearing people say "don't worry you'll get it off".  Sitting at over 150 lbs for 11 weeks now, yeah I'm worrying and I'm tired of my pants feeling tight.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Weekly Meeting Topic Week 22: Best Supporting Actors

Who supports you?

A key element to being successful in your weight loss journey is to have a personal support system in place.  This can be your own personal cheering section, someone to help you second guess your food choice when you're about to make a poor one, someone to go get in a work out with, and so much more!

So who is your best supporting actor, who would give you an Oscar to?
  • Family (parents, kids, etc)
  • Your partner
  • Friends
  • Co-Workers
  • Fellow WW members
  • Online (Weight Watchers message boards & other weight-loss communities, facebook, blogs, and so much more)
  • Weight Watchers magazines and Success stories
Some people don't have a support system, you may feel you don't need one.  Are you keeping your weight loss journey a secret?  Why?  You can't do this alone and having a support system to encourage you along, and help keep you accountable will make you more successful in your weight loss journey.

More importantly, don't forget to: THANK YOUR SUPPORT SYSTEM!

I have to thank EACH and every one of you, you're a huge part of my support system and deserve a huge "bravo" sticker from me!!!!

Before I end this post I wanted to share with you a poem my leader gave us before leaving as she was talking about that if you believe in yourself you will achieve your goals.

Believe In Yourself

Believe in yourself, in the power you have
to control your own life, day by day!

Believe in the strength that you have deep inside
and your faith will help show you the way!

Believe in tomorrow and what it will bring,
let a hopeful heart carry you through

For things will work out!  If you trust and believe
there's NO LIMIT to what you can do!

-- Author Unknown

The words "Believe... Achieve" are words I see every time I walk into the Dojang at Taekwon-Do and for some reason I never let them really sink in... they sunk in on Saturday, not at the Dojang but at my WW meeting!  I'll never take them for granted again.

Friday, June 3, 2011

The Week In Review May 27-Jun2

Once again my week started off well with good intentions.  Points-wise I did well every day except Wednesday, but I had a slight issue with ice cream this week.  That' and Wednesday's atrocious eating contributed to a 1.8 lb weight gain.  I'm still not nipping this weight gain in the bud but I keep trying.

Here's my week in review (click to biggify)

The Good
  • I ran my first 10K race ever on Saturday!
  • I ate well Friday-Tuesday
  • I have kept out of the candy dishes at work
  • I scored my first point ever at Ultimate Frisbee!
  • I keep going to my weekly WW meetings
  • I tracked honestly (despite Wednesday)
The Bad
  • I did not exercise enough this past week, I only ran my 10K and played Ultimate
  • Ice cream!
The Ugly
  • Wednesday: I started out with a good breakfast but then I wen to a 1/2 day meeting.  I started off with a muffin bar.  From there it went to two slices of awful pizza (I don't mean evil pizza, but pretty crappy pizza that wasn't worth the points).  I should of stopped at one or really not eaten it at all.  Then there was a piece of cake, then a decadent ice cream bar.  After I got home from Ultimate I ate two bowls of cereal and 5 chocolate caramel rice cakes.  Yup it was a disastrous over 40pt day!!!
Upcoming Challenges
  • Ice cream, I can only have it once this week (which I did tonight).
  • Get in one long run this weekend
  • Be active 6/7 days
  • Cook dinner!
  • I'll need to keep running, I just registered for a 1/2 Marathon in September with Amy!

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Weekly Meeting Topic Week 21: Exercise

Sorry I didn't post last week's meeting topic any sooner.  I figured I deserved a break on Sunday, I taught at TKD all night on Monday, Tuesday I had a massage and chilled, Wednesday I wasn't home long until I had to head out to my Ultimate game.  So I've been busy-ish, and definitely getting to bed earlier than I used to.

Last Saturday's meeting topic couldn't of been a more timely one, as the topic was exercise and what was I doing that evening?  Why running my first 10K race that evening!

What can I say about exercise that I haven't said in the past?  Not much, really.  You've heard it before, and you'll hear it again, find an activity that YOU LIKE and go from there... go out and enjoy it!  If you're not used to being active start slow, don't expect to go out and run 5K if you've never run a day in your life and you have bad knees.  Maybe your start is just a walk around the block, then the following week, two laps of the block.  Its a start... and you're moving!  According to the gurus at Weight Watchers they suggest we earn 4-6 exercise points per day.  How long it takes you to earn those points depends on several factors, how much you weigh (obviously someone who weighs more will burn more calories when they walk that block, than the person who has their last few pounds to loose) and what your level of exertion is (low, moderate, high).  Also you don't have to do that activity all at once it can be spread out through the day.  I have to admit I've got to work pretty darned hard to earn 4 points in under 30 minutes!





So what are your EXERSCUSES?
  • Too hot/too cold
  • Don't have the time
  • Bad knees
  • Don't like to sweat
  • Too tired
  • Don't like it
  • Don't like doing it alone
  • Don't like doing it in public
  • Gyms are expensive
  • Its raining outside
  • There's too many bugs
The Martial Artist
The Runner

I've managed to go from being an overweight Taekwon-Do instructor, to a girl within 10lbs of her goal weight (the body just doesn't want to go there no matter how hard I try), now a 3rd Degree Black belt and instructor whose skills have improved because I'm much slimmer.  Not only that, I go to the gym to lift weights, as my previous post proves I'm a runner, and just in the last two weeks I started Ultimate Frisbee (never played before, and scored my first point last night!).  When you read about all the things I do now, remember if you're just started your journey I was where you are now, sitting on my couch shovelling food in my face, not even wanting to try.   I did start out walking for my activity because I couldn't do Taekwon-Do due to a bad food injury that had keep me inactive for a year and a half.  Its taken me over 3 years to get to this point.

Sunday, May 29, 2011

I DID it!!!!

Amy & I after the race

What an emotional roller coaster yesterday was for me!  Amy was telling me by Thursday she had butterflies in her stomach!  I didn't have any, but boy I sure had them by Saturday afternoon.  I think there's nothing I hate more than waiting to go somewhere, which I was waiting to leave, and hoping Todd would get home in time to come with me.  I think that's the least I can ask for my partner to be at the finish line for my first race!

It took us a little longer than expected to get downtown (we had picked up my best friend Christin on the way, being at the finish line is also a best friend duty).  There was a bad accident that really backed traffic up, and of course we were reaching 30 minutes before race time so there I was FREAKING out.  So at an opportune moment I jumped out of the car to walk to the starting corrals.  I was in the purple corral which is for those of us who think we can finish the 10K in 71-80 minutes, the corral right before the walkers.  Yes, I'm that slow!
I was somewhere around this group of people its the purple corral coming through but neither of my photographers managed to spot me at the start line

For awhile I milled around in my corral with all the other cattle.  Suddenly a cheer went up, it was 6:30 and the race was starting.  Of course it was a little while before we started to even move (being that far back), we walked most of the way up to the start line then off we went in a slow jog.  It was pretty warm and humid out so I made up my mind within the first few minutes to just take it at an easy pace (for me) and not kill myself.  Also considering this was my first 10K and there were sooo many people that at times you slow down navigating around walkers and slower runners.

Its a huge event imagine everyone with faster finish times than 71 minutes had already gone by!

Before WW

I had a couple of emotional moments shortly after the start when I was running along Queen Street in Downtown Ottawa.  The tears started to well up and my breathing got ragged, I just wanted to cry.  Just amazed at how far I've gone/come since I started my Weight Watchers journey in February 2008.  Once upon a time I was over 200 lbs, with a badly injured foot (torn & partially torn ligaments, because I was over 200 lbs doing Taekwon-Do), and even before that injury the only time you would catch me running was out of a burning house with a cat under each arm. 

Here I am about three and a half years later having lost all my weight (well pretty much, the last 10lbs just won't budge), something I would never imagined I could have done at some point.  I thought that I was just meant to be fat, that it was genetics.  Not only did I loose over 60lbs, but here I am, I find myself a RUNNER!  Something I started doing because it was my Achilles heel, my most hated and dreaded activity.  Not only was I running, but I was running a 10K in Downtown Ottawa at the year's biggest running event!  I can tell you its not easy running and crying at the same time.  I had to get my emotions under control and choke my tears back and just RUN!

What was my other emotional point you might ask, why the obvious moment of course!  CROSSING THE FINISH LINE!!! 

The race wasn't as easy as I had imagined it would be, part of that I would put down to the humidity and the heat (not that it was that hot, but I'm still getting used to running in warmer temperatures).  I was very glad for the new hydration pack I bought at the Sports Expo on Friday when I picked up my race kit.  I did need sips of water as I went along (I don't normally run with water on me) and we didn't get our first water station until 5K and well when you're running you know you end up wearing more of that water than drinking it!

The first kilometer felt very long, but tings didn't feel rough until I hit the 8 KM mark I was really struggling in terms of my pace and psychologically!  Up to that point I had managed to catch up to and get ahead of the 70 minute pace bunny, but slowly that slipped away and I just didn't have the omph to go any faster and I could feel my pace really struggling until I got to that last kilometer.  The crowds thickened, with cheering, cow bells and noise makers.  Little kids were reaching out for high fives (and I made a point of getting a few along the way).  As I got closer to the finish, I could hear people in the crowd cheering go Danielle!  There were complete strangers taking the time to pick up my name off of my race bib and cheering me on!  What a pick me up that was!

Sadly the closest Todd & Christin could get was just after the finish line so no victory shot but I will probably buy the over priced official photograph when they're posted!

When I reached that finished line I threw my hands up in the air, tears in my eyes.  There it was, I had done it, it was over!
After the race with my first run medal ever! 

I posted a finish time of 1:11:29 (or 71 minutes and 29 seconds), exactly where I had pictured myself to finish.  So now I have a baseline, and can stat to look towards setting a personal best!
The stats from my Nike+ sensor (see how I slowed at the last 2K)

My next race?  Why I've registered for the 2nd Annual Perth Kilt run!  This is an 8K race, where the kilt is mandatory!  I really can't wait this run is going to be so much fun, and hopefully I'll have some fun photos for you, I might just try to run with my camera, who knows.  I won't be doing this race alone, my two buddies from Taekwon-Do will be doing the run as well!

Amy & OMG we're athletes!!!

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Eeek! Race Day Is Here!!!

It all started back in the fall over a casual conversation with my friend Amy at work.  We started talking about maybe doing a REAL race.  The big event in this area is Ottawa Race Weekend with a 5 & 10K on Saturday and a full and half Marathon on Sunday.  About fifteen minutes after our conversation Amy came back waving a piece of paper in my face, it was her registration for the Race Weekend 10K.  So I rose up to the occasion and registered right away.  Good thing we did because the 10K sold out by January/February this year!

I have NEVER done anything like this, anything this BIG.  Yes the last three years I've done the Run For the Cure 5K (and I will do it as long as I physically can as its an important cause to me), but it is a unofficially, untimed charity run.  Race Weekend is so big it brings 25 million dollars in revenue to the city of Ottawa!  Three years ago I would of never of imagined/pictured/thought about taking part in Ottawa's biggest 10K race of the year!  Here I am, 3 years later, 63 lbs lighter, and I AM a RUNNER!

I won't be setting any records this weekend, nor do I think I ever will set a record.  I'm aiming for a 75-70 minute finish time but really I'm just aiming to enjoy the experience and finish with a smile on my face, and maybe a tear in my eye.

Amy, thank you for pushing me!  Can't wait for our 1/2 marathon challenge this fall... guess we should get registered right?

Friday, May 27, 2011

Week In Review May 20-26

Sadly, my good efforts this week didn't pay off this week, I gained 0.6lbs but that's pretty small in the scheme of things I suppose.  I was a little disappointed with it because I thought I had a descent week, lots of activity (running, walking, ultimate frisbee, and Taekwon-do).

Tomorrow morning I'll be weighing in (and paying up).  The sad thing is when you weigh in monthly your weight tracker doesn't really reflect what's gone on in the last four weeks.  It doesn't show that my weight went even higher, then I've dropped it back down roughly to where I was when I last weighed in... but not to be within 2lbs of my goal weight which is why I'll be paying up.  Since I've lost the bulk of my weight, its just so hard to make my body lose anything, even after I've put on a few too many undesirable extra pounds.  I'm at a loss for what to do/what to change to make the weight shift.

So here's my week at a glance (click to biggify)


The Good:
  • I exercised 6/7 days this week
  • I started a new activity, Ultimate Frisbee... I had never played before!  I quite enjoy it and my teammates were very patient with me.
  • I got out for a 9.75K run on Saturday evening, I'm definately ready for my race this Saturday!
  • I did very well with the candy dishes this week
  • I am still doing well with temptation!
  • I am still tracking honestly
The Bad:
  • A little frustrated that my efforts didn't pay off at the scale
  • I think my food is getting static and I don't know how to change
  • I had a migraine Thursday night
The Ugly:
  • I can't think of anything ugly, so I guess that falls under the good category????
Upcoming Challenges:
  • To keep my chin up and keep on the right track towards weight loss
  • Keep to my 6/7 days of activity per week
  • Come up with some changes to shake up this body!
  • Running 10K on SATURDAY!!!